🏃 Training regime at Staplewood

:running_man: Training regime at Staplewood
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#1

I came across this idea. Thoughts on whether it would help our squad? It’s certainly a novel approach…


#2

Saying you’re on a pay as you perform would increase the points total.


#3

Possibly.

But it’s hardly as satisfying as kidnapping them blindfolded, then working them like packhorses in the scottish highlands, is it.


#4

The New Foest ain’t exactly the Scottish Highlands.

Maybe a stroll across Beaulieu Heath and a couple of lengths of Hatchet Pond, chase a few ponies for a bit before a cream tea at The Montague Arms?


#5

Could we not get the whole squad kidnapped, claim on the insurance and buy a whole new squad of proper footballers with the right stuff in January?
Think that would be more effective tbh


#6

I am sure I may have done that in a previous life

well fallen in Hatchet pond anyway :laughing:


#7

I’m up for that. Get a few of us together at the stadium tonight, I’ll bring the balaclavas.


#8

Can we refuse to release a couple of them?


#9

Depends. If the club aren’t prepared to pay the full ransom (£8:50p) we may have to dispatch them.


#10

Did you know Hatchet Pond is bottomless…much like my expectations for today’s game…says the eternal optimist. :lou_eyes_to_sky:


#11

We should do a Big Lebowski and send them a player’s toe until our demands are met. Not as if the players are using their feet for much at the moment.


#12

With the club on the brink of administration you will be lucky to get 10p in the pound of that ransom.