Tokyo Sexwale


I’ve just been reading about it, and there are Six Candidates:

  1. Sheikh Salman - I don’t know much about him

b) Michelle Platini - she used to play for France

  1. Prince Ali Bin Al-Husseing

3-5) Some other bros

  1. Tokyo Sexwale - I don’t know much about this bro, but there is something about him I like. He has got my vote. He is Black South African IMO. His name is Tokyo Sexwale.

I voted for Tokyo because I suspect like you Bearsy, anyone who has a name suggesting sex with a whale must be a winner

Does he?

An anagram, surely?

Already not loving this idea.

The merest fucking hint of research sinks this idea, chaps. From the Wiki.

**Mosima Gabriel “Tokyo” Sexwale ** is a South African businessman, politician, anti-apartheid activist, and former political prisoner. A charismatic leader, Sexwale was imprisoned on Robben Island for his anti-apartheid activities, alongside figures such as Nelson Mandela. After the 1994 general election—the first fully democratic election in South Africa—Sexwale became the Premier of Gauteng Province. Later, he served in the government of South Africa as Minister of Human Settlements from 2009 to 2013.

Most of it is very good stuff, but we see from the opening line that the name “Tokyo” is not some dreadful burden passed down from a vengeful parent that doesn’t like much their kids. It’s self-applied.

There’s no fucking way we could treat a character like that with any respect :lou_wink_2:

I’m not voting for Tokyo Sexwale - that bro is a cowboy.

1 Like

Originally posted by @saintbletch

Does he?

I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.

It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it.

1 Like

The Sheikh gets my vote. Anyone with a name that long will have a shit time forging cheques and bank transfers. That’ll do me.

1 Like

I see that the forum has gotten so excited about sexual congress with our whale friends that no-one has actually bothered to check the pronunciation. He’s really not as exciting as you think.

It is apparently pronounced Seh-wa-le.

Pyongyang Wankshark is my favourite.

The Young Boys of Bern have a very unfortunate (and highly amusing) stadium name.

Check out ESPN ejaculating all over it eleven years ago :lou_lol:

Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief

BERN, Switzerland, July 31 (Reuters) - The supporters of Young Boys Bern have not had too much to celebrate in the 19 years since their team last won the Swiss league title.

Long since eclipsed by the likes of FC Basel and Grasshoppers Zurich, the club from the Swiss capital has even got a reputation for enjoying its status as a perennial loser.

But this weekend Young Boys sought to shake off their old image by officially opening the 32,000 Stade de Suisse Wankdorf stadium – which cost 350 million Swiss francs ($271.3 million) – with an uncharacteristically flashy homecoming party.

I bet the ESPN staffer that wrote that article is still in a corner somewhere, chuckling.

1 Like

:lou_sad: spoilsport…there we are finally able to to dig out teh old Whale sex jokes and enjoy childish exchange of ‘naughty’ humour laced with innuendo and doubke entrendre and you come along with your miserable seriousness… bastard… I mean how often can a pic of a whale penis actually be within context of the topic (very tenuously I grant you)?

Nah, it’s sexwhale. He’s just made up some bullshit pronunciation because he is embarrassed. It is the same as Mrs bucket in Keeping up appearances calling herself “bouquet”

Nope. Not so.

It’s written Tokyo Sexwale.

And it’s pronounced…

Tokyo-high-fen-saynt Fuks-labra-doors-fact.


Prince Ali for me. Only because none of the candidates inspire confidence that it won’t just be more of the same, but with the Prince he at least comes across as a genuine person doing it for the right reasons.

Personally, I’d have liked to see that initiative from Marco Van Basten, involving Gary Lineker, Luis Figo et al that he mooted a few months back. Essentially a kind of coallition of actual former top players who love and care about the future of our once beautiful game.

I want to see actual real football people in charge of our game.


Why hasn’t Prince Charles stood? Too busy worrying about trees or something, fucking poof.


He’s busy fucking Wales.


I like the Tokyo Sexwale bro bc his name reminds me of a story Jamie/Batman/Delldays used to tell on Saintsweb, from when he was in the Navy.

What happened right, and this has been confirmed by the highest sources, is one time Jamie was driving his submarine in the Pacific Ocean, or whatever is the Ocean that is next to Tokyo, and they found themselves being pursued by a Blue Whale. They did everything they could to shake it off, but it was v.persistent, and it chased them round the Ocean for weeks, all the time humming the Benny Hill theme tune. Finally, the Blue Whale caught them, and it fucked them up the torpedo tube. Loads of seamans drowned in semens RIP.

Then, right, word got around that Jamie was putting out, and loads of other Blue Whales turned up, and they fucked him too. It was proper Blue Whale gang-bang. In the end there was so much Whale Spunk that it weighed down the submarine, and it sunk right down to the ocean floor. What Jamie and the other surviving Seamans had to do, was eat all the whale spunk before the submarine could float again. It took them 3 weeks. They ate jizz for breakfast, for lunch, and for dinner. Sometimes, Jamie would wake up peckish in the middle of the night, and he would pop down to the torpedo room to eat some more spunk. He said that after a while you get used to it, and even start to like it. Even to this day, he still garnishes most of his meals with a little dribble of jizz.

It was big scandal at the time! What they had to do, was redesign all the submarines to make the torpedo tubes less sexy. It cost £billions.


The way Bearsy’s mind works is a strange and wonderful yet unfamthomable thing :lou_smiley: