This still going? Its Day 26 Folks

This still going? Its Day 26 Folks


Its Day 26in the House and overnight there have been some shocking developments… (Sadly, this will have to wait until later as there is no live feed today due to the police having cut the broadcast following what they describe as a ‘serious incident’ after the signing announcement - and I have to work)

What has happened?

Has someboy been murdered - the ultimate eviction?

Who done it?

How clean is Paps scrote?

Has Fatso’s penis been soothed?

Has Bletch fallen in love?

Have Soggy and Slowy, our very own Vladimir and Estragon, found something to give them the impression they exist?

Where is Barry?

What about the bit part players, SoS, Cobs, Goat, PS, Rusty hole, Flydd? Why have they not had a mention?

Will Heisenberry’s true identify finallly be revealed?

Does anyone really care?

Was Bearsy watching?

Pop by later today - to find out, maybe as this thrilling window reaches more climaxes than Fatso’s record breaking self pleasuring!


I’m being edited unfavourably AG. It’s a fix.


Noòooo, I’ve tuned in only to find that I’m the one who has been evicted. Cheerio dear friends …


“…What about the bit part players, SoS, Cobs, Goat, PS, Rusty hole, Flydd? Why have they not had a mention?..”

We refused to pay the “entrance fee” you were asking for AG

Asking for cash upfront in a brown paper bag was a bit sordid, but I’m sure we would have considered payment by other “handie” means etc


Dont be so presumptive CD… it could be any of the house guests that may or may not have been ‘evicted’


The needy… but fear not Cobs, I suspect that in a futile attempt deal with the mid season slump new story lines and some additional ‘characters’ may appear in this thrilling new episode - afterall there is only so much of Pap’s testicular cleansing and Fatso’s tug marathon that we can put up with…


Sogs and I have a feeling that the promised new signing, Amelia Godot doesn’t really exist and all the media hype about her expected arrival is just a sop to sexual diversity.

Anyway Sogs and I will wait here, not with any real hope of her/him showing.

BTW Is she really a towering Amazonian CB who can play on either wing?


Sod Amelia Godot, what happened to the dead cat?


I saw BS sniffing around it yesterday licking his lips…


I think we’re in danger of merging with the Food Poisoning thread if we’re not careful.


Recorded earlier today…

Its 6.37 in the house the guests are about to woken by Big bad Bob Brother makeing a shocking revelation:

Attention House guests, this is Big Bad Bob. All Guests please come to the main lounge now without fail. There are stirings in the dorm, as Fatso is first to rise (as has been typical throughout his stay), his ‘handie’ now welded to his right hand. Despite the cessation of his self pleasuring, the device is now impossible to remove. the guests have stopped stting close to him during meals given he seems not to have cleaned it properly,

Slowly the guests convene in the lounge, Bletch is wearing his favorite smoking jacket, an odd choice for such an hour, but he has decided that Hugh Hefner (when alive) would be a good role model. CD is still only wearing his small apron, he shuffels sheepishly along the couch to get a little closer to Bletch - the pair now having exchanged more than phone numbers

Several new hairy arsed blokes like extras in a shitty film shuffle in, but are ignored and they say nothing (SoS, Goat, Cobs, UnPC PS, CB etc), so moving swiftly on… Pap stumbles in naked having no clean clothes, having soiled them all and without time to was them, but he is comfortable in his nakedness. He sits next to CD but covers up ‘Little Jeremy’ casually to hide the slight rash that has been forming since Bletch offered to shave him to help make the cleansing more efficient

Rusty hole, another previously unused charcater, had been in the kitchen trying to boil an egg. Unsuccessfully.

Shuffling slowly, Waldorf and Stadler (Soggy and Slowy) arrive together ‘’ why are we here?’’ ‘‘why?’’ ‘‘why what’’ , lets wait’’, ‘‘wait for what?’’ ‘‘to see’’… and so it goes on

Someone mubles ‘‘for fuck sake’’ as they continue their nilhilstic exchange, barely audible but clearly heard by the others. Bletch turns tothe culprit and with just a raised eyebrow chastises one of the extra characters (which one is as irrelevent as their names). The fear of Bletch getting Pap to discipline house guests is enough to shut him up.

Bearsy and Barry look guilty as they surprize the others by exiting the Diary room together. Bearsy usually just likes to watch.

Over the Tannoy we hear BIG BAD BOB again

House mates - this is extremly important, you must now remain where you are. The police will be entering the house in 2 minutes … please remain seated.

There is an obvious unrest as the hairy arsed scrotes mumble like the cheap extras they are - unable to speak as then they would have to be paid a higher rate.

Fatso is the first to rise (again), he stands up,placing his ‘handie’ on Paps knee to get some leverage for his huge frame. His weight causes him to loss balance and the handie nudges Little Jeremy. Little Jeremy does not protest, having not seen mych action since '82 at Greenham Common.

SIT DOWN roars Big Bad Bob

Bletch being the self procalimed house ‘leader’ is next to speak ‘’ Where is Arsehole Grandee’’?

The others look agains at each other in their slightly foggy hungover state (post Carol Lion signing party), much shaking of heads.

There is a pause- the Flat screen TV is on showing the Broadcast. They see themselves from one of the autocams, but the scene suddenly changes to the view of the pool area. At first its not quite clear but slowly as the main cam zooms, they see the shocking sight. His head buried in the earth a naked Areola is on his knees, his arse now in close to filling the screen - they recognise the small rose tattoo on his left cheek - the skin is pale with a bluish tinge and its clear he has been planted here for several hours. Areola is dead.

Bearsy is the the first to speak ‘’ did BT need somewhere to park his bike?’’

There follows a series of groans, except Barry you had not heard that one before so is laughing… or is he happy to see Areola in this state?

… to be continued…


… when does the window shut as super Welsh DCI Rhal. E. Boyo, DS Charles ‘cola’ Kidd and DC Fowl Lidd only have a few day to crack the case?


The hairy arsed scrotes, the cheap unpaid extras that they are, are not closely monitored like the “stars” of the show. Convening in the un as yet mentioned Executive Champagne Lounge talk is about being able to murder a Chinese (a battered saveloy doesn’t cut the mustard). Was Arsehole Grandee murdered to cover up nefarious plans to remove the SFC owners or to cover up plans to order a cheeky takeaway to break the monotony of Bollinger and Caviar (& a boiled egg for Rusty Hole)?


Fuck knows cobs … only time and a fertile if somewhat juvenile Imagination fuelled by stale humour will tell :lou_surprised: