āDonāt marry a woman who wonāt suck your knob. I did and look at me.ā
Sage advice from my old footy manager.
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because its basic knowledge if you drank the yard of ale you would know things like this.
ā¦as if anyone in the history of the world has ever drunk more than a half in one sitting. Right, guys?
Guys?
I was working in Belgium once and my assistant (From the German-speaking enclave in Belgium) took me out on the beer with her friends.
They told me about the beer boot challenge and told me that I had to take it.
Full of patriotic jingoism I told them about the yard of ale and how we Brits are all weaned on them from the age of 5. Two hours later I was asleep in the hotel room and soaking wet.
The boot in question was an ancient, earthenware affair with a cartoonish shape and not particularly large.
When I say cartoonish I mean it had an exaggerated toe area. I canāt find a suitable image but it looked like this.
They told me I had to beat the record of n seconds and I thought it would be easy. The problem is that as soon as the beer evacuates the toe area of the boot and the air rushes in, you get soaked.
Fucking hilarious the Belgians.
I also remember having shrimp with a raspberry beer too - they told me it was a thing.
It wasnāt.
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You should have tried the Langley Tavern Fishing Club Wellington Boot Challange.
The fishing club go out fishing (on the Piss) saturday night. Arriving back at the Langley for Opening hours Sunday morning for the weigh in.
at some point during the proceedings somebodies sweaty wellie will have been removed and filled with various remnants of beer rum vodka and any othe dodgy alcohol that would go in it and it would be passed around the pub for consumption by all.
just the smell of the boot would make you gag let alone trying to swallow the contents.
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Up here they use the term āgetting welliedā for getting drunk.
This comes from Cains Brewery, where drinking on the job was once a legit perk.
They took the perk away, so the workers would fill their wellies with beer on the sly for a sneaky snifter.
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Is that where the phrase āfill your bootsā comes from too?
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An excellent question. 
That is what matadors say to each other, their equivalent of break a leg
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This struck me as a bit more convincing, tbh.
Comment 20,from Tom.
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Donāt listen to all that nonsense, it actually stems from a real person, a count Philipe Jabouts, a Dutch lower royal renowned for being very generous with his staff, letting all and sundry take him up the back alley so to speakā¦ so you can clearly see how his name became synonymous with an open offer to take more than one neededā¦
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Ah yeah, Iāve heard of his Scottish cousin Phil McCrackin.
Yep. 
Heās also the origin of the childrenās phrase ājaboute sucksā.
ā¦and his cellmate, Ben Doon.
Nah, his cell mate is Phil McCavity
The Octopus Etymology
The three main plurals for octopus come from the different ways the English language adopts plurals. Octopi is the oldest plural of octopus, coming from the belief that Latin origins should have Latin endings. Octopuses is the next plural, which gives the word an English ending to match its adoption as an English word. Lastly, octopodes stems from the belief that because octopus is originally Greek, it should have a Greek ending.
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Did you know an Octopus has three hearts?
This is another trap I wonāt be walking into.
Cue Octoporn posts
Is that the triple breasted whore of Eroticon 5?
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