The ‘why am I not asleep thread?’

My gf woke me up at 3am wanting sex. She couldn’t understand why I was mad! B-but you love sex, she said.

How would you feel, I said, if I woke you in the middle of the night and told you to do a bunch of push-ups?

It’s not often i win an argument. I thought I’d record it here for posterity!


So I got back last night to home about 9pm.

I’d left my hotel in France at 6am. It was -3C and had to scrape the ice off the rental car.

Having had a couple of beers to chill down I went to bed.

Not for a moment registering the fact that somehow while I was away, winter had ended and it was actually 28C in the apartment.

So no, I didn’t work it out, and do the obvious - turn on the A/C, I managed to be awake all night.


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Didn’t I read on here that you’re getting married some time soon?

Assuming this girlfriend you mention is the future Mrs Bear (granted, that may be an assumption too far in your case, Bear) then very shortly the time when this woman woke you up begging for sex at 3am – or, indeed, any other times on the 24 hour clock – will just be a dim and distant memory.

Dumb Bear.


Yeah, in point of fact in 4 weeks time I will be officially Off The Market! Take notice ladies! Time is running out if you want to get in on some of this action! Do not miss this exciting opportunity!

I mean, assuming I survive my worldwide stag tour, which commences this weekend rip


My wedding is not a very grand affair. It is registry office job, cos originally it was Shotgun situation on account of her being Pregnant. Then of course when baby died (rip) it seemed bit difficult to Back Out.

I bought a new suit at the weekend for wedding tho. It is bright blue. It cost me £400. And I bought new shoes. They are nice shoes! They are supposed to be brown, but they look quite red to me. They cost me £140.

Then I got home and tried on the two together, and the overall look was a bit:


Worldwide tour is it, Bear?


It’s a good look @bearsy especially when you look back at the wedding pictures in years to come…it’s the kind of outfit that will never date. Your misses should go for a red outfit with blue shoes.

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You used to wear that get up in your old job didn’t you @bearsy , isn’t that why you jumped shop to BK?


Where’s the Sotonians invite? It’s like you don’t want us there embarassing you…


You could have had her go cowgirl or reverse cowgirl!!

Dumb Bear!!

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World wide Stag Tour

He has not been seen in the flesh pots of Manila, Batangas, Kuala lumpor, Labaun,

What sort of world tour is this?

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Who is your best man bear… i.e. when will you asking me to take up ‘the position’?

I have loads of stag ideas. It won’t just be a shotgun wedding but also shotgun stag.



More likely a visit here

With a BK burger afterwards - free porn on the WiFi though

Do you need me to send out a message to womankind as not sure many women will see this on here.


Read between the lines, niki.

That’s a message for you.


Get to the back of the line @tokyo-saint , my witty fast food repartie has surely earnt me the honour…

Ah I was never very good at picking up those subtitle signs. Anyway… bit busy the next 4 weeks.


Those subtitle signs are the worse when it comes to loving.

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I think i might be going blind. I can’t see out me eyes half time. All those people who can still live a normal lif, they should tell me…

Tell me about the new land! Tyne promised last