Why is that Romanian wearing a condom on his head. Sponsorship requirements?
Gareth Southgate puts on a condom before having a wank.
I once took my biggest Dubai client to a football match in Derby.
We both wore Condoms on our heads.
What’s the problem?
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I hear you were holding hands…please explain. 
Probably to stay upright after the visit to the lottery winning Real Ale microbrewery at the station
Plausible, you’ll be relieved to hear. 
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Known in polite circles as a ‘Gentlemans Wank’.
…ah, a fellow Viz reader.
That makes you, me and Pap as far as I know 
Oi! I’m a ex-viz reader…
Sod Viz how have Austria not scored yet?
Because Turkey have scored 2
Game on just as i prep to go to bed
2-1
Top game this one. Belting
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If only Engerland could be bothered to play like either team.
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My young Turks march on Berlin!
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Enjoyed that
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I thought it was a Posh Wank…
“ex”, mate. We’re talking current. 
That’s a colloquial term for a liaison with an, ahem, professional lady at the lower end of the cost spectrum. Generally used by the so-called upper classes.