Simples. Just become a Skate for the week - you’ve experienced every line you ever need from them…
It’s the history innit
Bloody Plastics where were you 37 years ago
Yeah but we had far more away fans at the event than you ever send to Europe
Ah so you’re an American Golf Fan, I guess Dick Sucking is a regular pastime for you then if it is something on the tip of your tongue when it comes to shouting your support
Etc
Danny Willet Presser.
Question “How would you describe your Ryder Cup experience?”
Danny “Shit”…
Danny “Oh sorry would you like me to elaborate?”…
Danny “Really Shit”
Lee Westwoods effort at the press conference
“On a good point, I got called a t— yesterday, which is the first time since I was about 12 years old, so it made me feel young again.”
One thing that puzzles me about US golf courses…well one of many. Why do they bother to have bunkers? They’re in no way a “hazard”…no ball ever runs the risk of being “plugged” in the sand…they just seem like a cosmetic appendage to the course.
Give me a good old fashioned real British golf course.
They are there in case on a very rare occassion, I ever travel to the US and play golf…
I will always check out each and every one, pluggted or not
I am sad but let the Yanks gloat, pride comes before a fall.
Hate Mickelson, his scrambling is awesome and saves him 9 times out of 10, if he could drive better he’d have won more majors.
Seemed to me that the Americans were getting more of the rub of the green or am I just biased?
Nah. In the Singles only Sergio could be classed as really unlucky to get only a half. Rory blew up - WAY too much adrenalin too early and he simply crashed emotionally. (I’ll see if I can get some exclusive interviews in November with the lads for a follow up!)
The others (Henrik Justin & Thomas excepted) as I pointed out were just not in form. Danny’s Twitter Glitz Life bit him more firmly in the arse than even I imagined.
Europe didn’t "Strike the Ball| well enough and didn’t have the true feel of the greens. To be honest I think USA had more lip outs than we did over the 3 days.
We were crap, ITK’s knew we would be crap. BUT there was some astonishing moments as always. Sergio v Phil, Rory’s Putt, the emergence of Thomas Pieters who will surely now move from “being the next big thing” to BEING the next big thing
The History of the Cup NEEDED the Yanks to win. It needs that fight rekindled and it needed the hurt to be inflicted on the Europeans.
Next stop for us is DP World Tour Championship in November. IF anyone wants to walk wth the players, meet them, get Selfies then I can tell you how to do it - couple of Saints fans now come each year and work in it.
Post Mortem when I get time
… you could just call them a wanker and tell 'em to fuck off
Oh … and try to make it sound as unsportsmanlike as possible 
Get involved?
The Organisers at the Ryder Cup in both EU and US have done a very good job of not selling out (completely). Obviously there is some sponsorship and the US tee Boxes did have logos this year.
But the point is, the Jewel in the Crown is for Minions, Golf Fans or Billionaires to Walk INSIDE the Ropes with the Players.
At Gleaneagles, Corporates were offering US$1,000,000 to European Tour for Passes to get inside access. Every single one was refused. They received almost 120,000 applications for Media Passes and Photographer passes. They were all refused. Yes they issued 220 Season Passes (People who actually report on golf like Kevin Garside of the Independent who does travel to a lot of events round the world) but people like The Avon Advertiser got nowhere. A further 125 DAY passes were issued to Scottish or Local Papers from the Golfers home state / etc but they ALL had to have Golf Handicaps.
Maybe Ted from here could one day blag his way in as a TV Guy, but again, the TV coverage on course is by The Golf Channel and by European Tour Productions. Sky will get the feed and will have 'taters on the course.
But what about YOU? How do you get involved?
TV Crew - Every event is televised, every event needs TV Crew - carrying the Radio Antenna, Carrying the heavy Tripod, driving batteries out to the crews, holding the sound Mikes. All are volunteers. There is a Krew of about 30 who are retired and fly around Europe doing up to 10 events a year, they get about GBP 100 for a week of work - so it is a hobby. They get chosen FIRST for the big events. Then there are a couple of Blondes who travel round with the TV Production Krew while they are “Away from Home” 
We have a Saints Fan who does this and comes down here and did Swiitzerland. He is assigned a group and off he goes, doesn’t see what HE wants but gets up close
Scorers These guys use a Hand held to send the scores back that you see on the TV screen, again a few nerdy types who do this across multiple tournaments, have to say some of them can only just count so fuck knows where they found the money.
Board Carriers Down here we use Child Labour 
. Actually it is an integrated part of two local shcools Maths and Sports Programmes. The Kids go through a complete package with Introduction to Golf lessons, Rules and Etiquette and actual hitting golf ball days. Teachers work hours extra for this (at no pay of course) and around 200 kids are involved doing scoreboards etc and walking on the course with the players. It is a BIG THING here.
At other events these jobs are given to the “Mates of the Club Captain” so unless you are a US$1,000,000 member who sleeps with the Captain of Wentworth you ain’t gonna get that gig.
Marshalls - The BIG events like The Open are assigned to different Golf Clubs. Each Club will have one hole to manage and their members stay in the same place allo week on a shift system. It’s a Mafia non members don’t get a look in. There ARE then one or two walking Marshalls per group - they are friends of the Captain at Wentworth…
Media Marshalls - yeah tha’s me. I am THE man I watch who I want etc (More later)
Marshalling gets you a FREE ENTRY ticket to watch golf. So obviously with some events costing 80 or 100 quid a DAY entry, LOTS of people think this is a “CLEVER RUSE”
Unfortunately when you have 20,000 Drunk people moving abusing or taking selfies of a Golfer who is trying to play a shot that could earn him (or her) $500k of prize money, they really do not last long.
It is an AMAZING job - Diplomat, Politician, Bouncer, Muscle, Comedian are what you TRY and do “Racist, Jobsworth, Cnut, Arrigant Pirck” are what most people think of you. Oh I just want to take a selfie says the moron with a $20,000 camera clicking in a back swing “Oh nobody told ME I could not bring a camera” (Despite it being on your ticket in the terms and conditions you accepted and on signposts on every Tee Box AND the fact these Two Policemen ALREADY told you 3 times."
My favourite ever was “Do you know who I am?” Yes Sir, you are an Arrogant Gentleman who is spoiling the event and causing “Embarrassment to the UAE” These Gentlemen will now escort you to the Police Station" He got four years for throwing a punch at a Marshall and being drunk and calling me most of the names above. Not like he wasn’t told 10 times. Then "The Man himeslf comes up and asks “How did you NOT hit him? That was amazing!”
So I started by Volunteering - European Tour web site has a link for Volunteers. Get involved. It took me 3 years to move from Minion following three blokes with Golf Bags & some geezer walking his Dog to “The Big Crowds” Took me 5 more years to become The Media Man. Gleneagles? That took me FOUR YEARS of Schmoozing.
But as Justin said “That was the greates weekend of my life”
Having THIS view of a Tee Box?
Or seeing the crowd like this?
Just saying…
Want to work as a Volunteer in France in 2018?
The link to get on the mailing list for details. Registration actually starst in Spring 2017
And here is the link to register interest for tickets to Paris in 2018
yes that is a long time away but the Volunteers stuff starts in Spring 2017 with final acceptances in about July next year and the Ticket sales for the RC will be around the same time.
