As I’ve always said, you know you’re slightly pickled when Whitney Houston documentaries make you cry.
🍻🍷 The Map of 🇲🇷 Booze thread whatever the title says (or is changed to when moderately intoxicated)
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We need a pungent, potent and earthy Latin/English mix-up.
Sum cunt
Es cunt
Est cunt
Sumus cunts
Estis cunts
Sunt cunts
I like the last one the best.
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Whenever I get that way I like to pop a bit of Bobby Brown on and smoke some crack.
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I’ll put candy girl on and roll up some loose tea
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That is full Vyv, from The Young Ones, from the episode Cash where he reveals he is pregnant.
And I respect full Vyv.
Steady!
I’m currently caught between nipping out to the petrol station for some crisps or taking a shit. It’s the Bobby brown lifestyle.
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God, how I envy you.
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Let’s introduce some facts to this matter.
What crisps would you buy if you were to go to the petrol station?
What sort of shit would you have (clipped curious-turtle head / ungratifying slow worm / I just lost a lung )
How would you feel if, upon trying to improve your life through crisps or defecating, you could do neither?
How would he feel if he could do both? I dare not even contemplate the possibility.
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We need to introduce a temporal element to this hypothesis.
At what time would he do both?
Buy the crisps whilst simultaneously shitting in aisle one?
Or, eat the crisps on the loo whilst fashioning a fatso-shaped sphincter-trumpet tribute to Miles Davis.
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Horny!
Kind of Poo.
Great.
Nice.
Mmmmmm
Once you pop, you can’t stop
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I’d have to be drunk to watch one. 
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I’d have to be dead. They would have to position my decaying corpse in front of the TV and I reckon that might even get me going again as my rotting flesh twitches in desperation to escape…
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Not a fan then?
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From an aesthetic perspective, there was a time in the 80s when I would have crawled a 1000 miles over broken glass naked just to wank over her shadow… as long as she kept her mouth shut.
… but I will always love youooou OO ooo. Ooh
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If i’d been commissioned to write lyrics for The Proclaimers, this would have been in my first draft.
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