Bike?.. donāt fucking talk about bikeā¦ 8000km last yearā¦ around 140 so far this yearā¦ fucking work, weather, excessive DIY and being a fat idle twat has done for all my fitnessā¦ its turned me to drinkā¦ cunts
4 Likes
No chance - we are home and done
Back in my youth I used to ride home from lock ins at the Millers Pond - that was enough excitement for one lifetime
Too opaque a reference, obviously.
When I asked if youād be riding the bike later I wasnāt asking youād be riding your bike later.
No?
See, Iāve stopped making sense.
Iām all out of sorts. Merry but not comatose.
Itās a place between this world and the next that Iāve never seen before.
I wonāt be hurrying back again either.
(Bletch pours a 
)
Not sure the Ayatollah would appreciate you calling her a bike
See my point above about not knowing where or who I am.
And apologies to the Cleric - but hope you donāt read all these posts to her.
x
2 Likes
An upmarket pickling tonight
Salisbury Guildhall. Mayors Ball. The Zucchinis.
10pm theyāve run out of Doombar ffs.
1 Like
Anecdote.
Last time I was in this building I was acting in a Merchant Ivory Gay Porn movie alongside Hugh Grant.
We only discovered it was Gay Porn arthouse AFTER it was released & took our kids to watch the premiere at the local Odeonā¦
2 Likes
Surely the āhide the sausageā scene gave you a little hint
2 Likes
So Iām on my 5th pint of Flacks Double and was wondering why Iām feeling pretty soberā¦
The buggerās only 3.7% isnāt it.
Mind you thatās more than enough to have @saintbletch reeling after 2ā¦
1 Like
Ah the infamous āmessing around in the servantās noisy back passageā excerpt that only made the cutting room floor?
Nah, luckily I was in the courtroom scene wher EM Forsterās BF gets sent down for buggery, actually next to Hugh Grant.
Rest of the story is for the pub before a game.
It involves Helena Bonham Carter as well.
Time for a new name drop badge
Saturday lunchtime/ afternoon drinking with very little food makes me a little tipsy.
5 Likes
Clearing mates garage out. Found 2 boxes of Ales heād forgotten about.
1 batch expired in 2014, 1 batch in 2017.
Itās a tough job but someone has to test them while sitting in the sun
How the fuck can you forget about beer ā¦ let alone 2 fucking cases ? Beggars belief. 
4 Likes
I usually forget I drank them
1 Like
That wasnt an error I would ever make
Mid week drinking with work tomorrow.
I was with 4 Brazilians and happy that I understood probably 70% of the conversation.
5 Likes
I had to watch a video made by our Brasilian employees and understood most of it as well. 
We are becoming Bilingual British people
One pt of Chinook at the brewery, 4 pt of Pupa carry out, now for the curry house, swift post curry pint in the pub and back to my lovely beer
1 Like