Receiving the contract for my 1st âNew Productâ gig.
How to Talk Shit in English from a major Polish Company.
Could be the start of something, could be a disaster.
But, with no tourists in town had to try something.
(Actual working title is âOvercoming the fear of speaking English in Publicâ)
Day 1 of training went well.
As in nobody fell asleep. Woo hoo!
And I got taken out for late lunch by the big boss so saved on the costs there!
Did have a laugh during the âbadâ body language example session. Ladies on the course picked âchat up line in a barâ
And sent 2 guys up.
Oh how they squirmed. Perfect exactly the reaction we needed.
I now have beer and maybe an hour until I pass out exhausted
Iâm currently staying in a town Iâd never heard of.
Gliwice. Population 177k.
Which has a fascinating history and whose âinvasionâ sparked WWII.
It makes Sturminster Newton on a wet Sunday seem like Dubai.
Not in Wiki is a fascinating tale, the canal linked the town to the Oder river, the coal mines & steel works gave it the materials and so, the town became the Tank Factory for Nazi Germany- shipped via the Adolf Hitler Canal.
After the war, the Soviet regime turned the town into their Tank building hub, 11 T34s rolled off the production lines each week (allegedly).
Today? Nothing remains, factories repurposed to multi use obviously.
Oh.
Wait.
Why am I here?
I doubt if any on here, myself excepted, will understand that referenceâŚ
Let us in on the secret then.
Letâs say the highlight of Stur Newton is the cattle market, and that stopped in 1997
I fell in the river there so no happy memories for me. 
I think if you find yourself there, youâve gone the wrong way.
We once went to Sturminster Newton for a Sunday cricket match.
It rained.
They told us to wait.
We went into town.
It was one level above zombieland and totally shut.
We waited 4 hours and went home.
I still have nightmares about it
Just got home from my first provider event since lockdown. Fizz, private cinema to watch product launch, booze and food, getting collard to do wine fueled Vox pop interview for post event marketing- Marvellous.
Got home with ripped heel from made worse from last week. Mrs C_S to drive down to Cardiff tomorrow- bonus
Day 2 of training.
The gang walk in & every single one does the "put your Superhero Cape on "presenting gag I showed them the day before with a huge grin.
Damn the whole thing is working. Polish people learning how to become "technicolor " when talking not âgrayâ.
Exhausted but buzzing.
Such a shame it doesnât last very long! Briefly looks marvellous, makes a right mess and is then pretty dull for the rest of the year. The Crystal Palace of the tree world.
The Ayatollah trying to put on her poker face when her preferred kitchen designer gave her a ball park price
Quite why she thought a bespoke kitchen designer wasnât going to gouge us particularly when their usual clientele are London wankers living in Winchester is beyond me
Picked up a piano yesterday in Preston. Went in myself first to check it over and agree a price, then managed to convince the mate helping me that as they were a naturist group we had to disrobe before putting it on the van. Theyâd left me to remove it while they stayed out of the way. So I pointed to a little changing area they had just inside the door, started taking my sweatshirt off and told Clive we had to leave our clothes in there before we were allowed in. His face was a picture, I pointed at the sign and said they were very strict about it but we could leave on our safety boots and rigging gloves. I strung him along for 5 minutes of arguing before I finally cracked up.
Apparently Iâm a cunt, according to Clive. 
I have a story.
Not a lot of people know this.
It is INTERESTING
Long story about a key moment in history you probably do not know.
Something different, past week I am running a training course (more later).
I am in Gliwice a town population 177k west of Katowice about 90mins from home so staying over.
Have you heard of Gliwice?
After WW1 it was in Germany, in fact they voted to stay in Germany in a referendum. A few tried to fight that.
The City became the home of Nazi Germanyâs Tank building, a canal linked the town to the Baltic sea. It was even called The Adolf Hitler Canal.
Those few who tried to fight to overturn a popular vote caused something much worse.
They gave Germany an excuse.
On 31st August 1939, the SS walked in to the Gliwice Radio Tower and shot everyone (all Germans).
They blamed the Polish rebellion.
It gave Hitler the excuse to invade Poland.
The Tower still exists, made of wood. A memorial to fake news, false flags and the start of WW2.
Actually v interesting
(Didnât you mention this one before?)
No.
That was the story about Poland actually invading Germany, but good spot and in a different spot!
Old large Polish Industrial Organisations finishing at 3pm in the afternoonâŚ
Yay, Beer Oâclock is early!
Training is done.
Did it go well?
Amazingly, it seems it did, I actually achieved what nobody had ever done before, getting tech types to sit with marketing types and hold meetings in English.
I got two hugs, 9 grateful handshakes and the Boss asked me what my favourite food in Poland was so took me out for an absolute feast of a Curry.
Now to actually get paid but thatâs a problem for 30 days time
