The Football and Cricket results are normally correct.
Not how I want them but normally correct.
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I havenāt seen my ticket yet. I did ask my mate to get my usual seat in The Kingsland.
If not, itsā¦ āGimme Shelterā.
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I donāt. Checked their forecast this morning. Spot of rain this pm reasonably warm. Dressed accordingly. Now home for lunch and putting on a few more layers and a waterproof. Doesnāt help the air con at work is arctic.
When I was a teenager in Winchester we used to go to the White Swan (closest pub to Peter Symonds where we wouldnāt be caught by teachers) and drink Old Roger on draught. That was something like 7.5% and almost undrinkable. It wasnāt actually beer, I think - more a kind of barley syrup.
Anyway, there was a rumour that if you managed five pints, theyād give you the sixth free. I never got to five pintsā¦
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Is drinking old Roger a euphemism?
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Like ā a self confessed player of the pink oboeā?
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In fact having recently met our very own @lifeintheslowlane , Iām wondering whether @bathsaint was learning to play the Sweeney theme tune on 'slowlaneās instrument!
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I was one of the lucky ones who could blow his own trumpet. @bathsaint couldnāt even afford my sheet music. 
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Oh, you said sheet music. I misread thatā¦
Upvoted for the misreading making it funnier
It was touch and go which of the words I should use but as I was aimed at you @bathsaint I avoided the obvious and went for bedding instead.
Sorry @cobham-saint
I played cricket for The Swan for a season. My batting average was such that it reflected someone who had drunk 6 pints of Old Roger before attending the crease.
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Me
Bunch of us once went to Salisbury races on a Tuesday having declared our unavailability to play local league cricket that night.
We had a bit of a run so went from 6X to Lanson bubbles.
Went up to watch the match team was 4 players short so we had to play (wearing suits & brogues).
1 of our crew went for an impossible single at right angles to the wicket crumbled and chundered.
He was recorded in the scorebook as
R G H Davies - Fell Out 0.
We lost
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Itās 12:35am.
The business meeting has gone well covered corporate structure and EU grants for R&D. You move on to grants for Exports
And some fvckwit buys a bottle of Vodka. SRSLY?
I just wanted to take at the cute 30 something chicks ffs.
Right. Trade show funding
Bollocks.
Itās not even a Friday
Every innings of cricket I played was a short and furious affair. The first over I would set about the bowling, swinging away with wild abandon more often than not hitting several boundaries including a couple of sixes. By the second over the bowling team would have sussed out that my only shot was a leg side golf swing, pack that side of the field with fielders and invariably catch me out within three balls.
When youāre camping and your wife breaks the news that she (unilaterally) decided that āweā would have medallions of bacon instead of normal bacon for breakfast .
Thatās right, my wife has taken the wonderfully tasty, guilty pleasure, the only justification for killing those beautiful animals, the pigs parting gift - from pig to pig, and removed every ounce of fucking mouth watering fat from it.
It broiled in the frying pan from the brine inside it. It was the saddest thing Iāve ever seen.
We are not on speaking terms as I typeā¦
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Must be something in the air Bletchā¦
Hangover obviously.2nd morning in a row bed at 3am. Woken at 8:30.
Both expected.
Being bollocks while on 1st cup of coffee for NOT packing a suitā¦
So we can go to Churchā¦
Yep sure saw that curve ball comingā¦
It is a holiday in Poland for Corpus Christie which is apparently more than a college on university challenge lots of processions and kids in their finest.
Well of course we were going obviously you needed a suitā¦ (in carry-on) (despite planning the packing a week ago)
Think Iām not only one with hangover. Tell tale kebab signs around the place and it wasnt meā¦
More updates on this breaking story laterā¦
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A suit? Itās already 26C ffs
Banks and internet passwords / security devices then the inevitable question could you just pop into the branch for a meeting with the manager.
Err no I am in the Philippines
come in when you come back
I dont know when that will be.
Why
None of your business.
My Pin Sentry does not work please send me a new one.
We can only send it to the registered address
Please do that then.
ok sir we will do that.
My bank card is due to run out at the end of the month where is my new one?
You can collect it when you come in the branch.
I am in the Philippines and do not know my itiinarary to be back in the UK can you please send it to me overseas.
We cannot do that Sir its against our policyās.
But If I lose my card you could cancel it and send me a new one by DHL?
Yes Sir but yours is just being renewed because of the date we are not allowed to send it overseas.
WTF
I can lose the card and get a new one but cant just get a new card sent to me how the fuck does that happen?
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