How come he hasnāt had his ticket punched yet ?
Or is he too small a celebrity for this year?
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I always thought he was too busy having hits with songs about how much he loved his wife, but he still found time to shag the nanny.
Which funnily enough is a great name for a racehorse.
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Shag the nanny, odds on to get caught from behind by somebody not worth the money.
Along with many other popular modern music beat combos to be fair (insert group name here) for oneā¦
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Although this would imply heās still popularā¦
Moving house has got to be one of the biggest headfucks in life.
Iāve been doing it myself this week. Now Iām not talking moving a family and a house full of furniture. Just little olā me and my belongings out of a furnished rental Iāve been sharing with a couple of friends.
I canāt believe how much shit Iāve accumulated in 9 years. My initial thoughts were to get a few empty boxes to pack my stuff in, throw it in a van and away I go, simple ā¦ how naive !!
Itās been a week of sorting through clutter Iāve unearthed from every nook and cranny. Some of it I havenāt seen in years and canāt even remember where it came from. Even being quite ruthless in chucking stuff, Iāve still had to rent a bit of storage space while I decide what to do with āwanna keepsā that wonāt fit in my new place.
Terrible week 
ā¦ never again ā¦ until next time 
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Au contraire
Tbf my post was made with a massive amount of irony.
because heās a cunt
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Steve - upvoted out of sympathy.
Have you thought that all the shit you donāt recognise is probably stuff dumped in your room by flatmates who couldnāt be arsed to put it in the bin themselves?
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Music beat comboās are old hat anyway ā¦ itās all about the disco nowadays, eh Cob 
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Dammit ā¦ I thought I knew all the scams !!
Luckily my idea of chucking āstuffā is leaving it there and being the first one out
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I see what youāre doing thereā¦too early to catch me out with that one.
Let me get a few beers down my neck and Iāll get my glitter ball of disco-phobia out for all to dance around - or whatever it is people do at dancing establishments these daysā¦
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moved house in 2012, 2014 and 2015. we refer to my giving away loads of my stuff away as the great clear out 2014. literally bags and bags of clothes on Gumtree. youād think Iād learn but slowly accumulating again.
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The feckin Sun are at it again. So Gary Lineker takes the piss out of them for posting a picture of a child migrant who clearly is not a child and it turns out he is an interpreter.Okay, so they can give it out but they cant take it and you expect a backlash against our Gary as so it was. Front page (seriously, given what is going on in the world) response giving Gary both barrels and, get this, referring to him as ājug-earred Lineker.ā Now unless the story has something to do with Lineker suing Specsavers for selling him some glasses that keep falling off of his head, wtf has the size and shape of his ears got to do with anything? The current editor must be about 10 years old.
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Apparently not according to the Home Office (not that they know what the fuck is going on):
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Fair doās and by all means defend yourself if someone has had a pop at you and they are wrong. But using personal remarks in the attack? Are we supposed to think that whatever Lineker has to say is worth less because he has large ears?
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No, just because heās Lineker is enough!!
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Egads! Fair point, well made Sir!
facial recognition software??
The Express thinks we are as thick as shit, when in fact only about half of us are.
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what this ?