They say everything comes in threes. 
Stop fucking moaning and get onto YouTube for a DIY fix. You’re the expert at that, aren’t you? 
The Ayatollahs car has been dispatched to the main dealer and hire car incoming - Landrover assist really is quite good
Too soon. Just too fucking soon.
It has to be…they have a reputation for being needed regularly.
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I bet your Mrs suggested it. 
Im sure its just another failed security upgrade by LandRover …
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The Ayatollahs car has landed at hendys - they have said they can look at in in March - I shit you not
Mine is a dodgy diesel exhaust filter - still drivable buts needs looking at - again in March
I fixed the boiler - combo of you tube and ringing the installer to ask him where he had hidden the valve
DPF’s are a right bastard. I had a VW Golf estate with some made up eco wank credentials and used to have dreadful trouble with the filter. I never understood the handbook when it said that the way to deal with the car going into limp mode was to rev the fuck out of it for 15 minutes until the blockage cleared, presumably in a cloud of built up NOX emissions over some poor bastard behind me. It never worked by the way. The first time it went into limp mode i took it up the M3 for a couple of junctions about 4.30am one morning and ended up crawling at about 15 mph in 2nd gear and incurring the wrath of the few other road users at that time of day. Ended up getting the thing drilled out. Waste of time.
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Might I suggest keeping very quiet about that, and claiming that “it must have fixed itself.”
You’ve already started digging that particular hole, it would be wise to maintain radio silence with the ayatollah about any further progress in the DIY stakes.
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I’m joining the plumbing and car woes group. Turbo on our Mazda is whining (initially thought it was. Mrs S, but a different whine). Told bearings probably gone and it’s £1k plus.
And a steady drip from the kitchen ceiling greeted me this morning. Fracture in the hot water tank. FFS. 
Ah no, I swear at them.
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The absolute fucking shysters at Hendys have declared that my DPF is not covered by warranty - hang on a sec I said, these things are meant to last 100k miles, its only done 30k.
hendys: Ah, its your driving style.
CB:How do you know what my driving style is like - that sounds like you are fobbing me off
Hendys: Diesel are not designed to do short journeys
CB: WTF
Hendys They are more suited to long journeys
CB Where is that gem in the brochure - sounds to me like you missold the car
Fucking shyster cunts
Hendys: the repair will cost between £2 and 3k and of course we will also charge £240 +VAT for the diagnostic test
Absolute fucking shyster cunts
…and you’ll have to fork out another £3300 in a couple of years, when the dpf fails again. Which it will.
Out of genuine interest
Why would you buy a Diesel?
Half the UK was conned into buying them so badly they can claim compensation?!
Turns out Jaguar are facing a class action on dodgy DPF
As much as I loathe this kind of lawsuit, I am sufficiently pissed off, that I am considering it
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As @Bearsy would say, I have been very business - in Northampton today and yesterday.
It’s nothing like Southampton, apart from the rush hour traffic
Mrs P_F & MiL away at big Sis for the weekend.
I’m home alone
We have a storm, tree comes down, cut the whole village internet off from about 13:00 until 10 minutes ago.
FFS all my Netflix binge plans fucked up
Then a bunch of Aunties rocked up to see them and expected me to entertain them, make Tea & serve cake & cold cuts.
The family will probably never speak to me again (they don’t anyway) & Mrs P_F is annoyed I didn’t invite them in.
Like how the fvck did I even know who they were?
And then she says…
You could have sent me a message.
That reminds me…must watch Oppenheimer this weekend. 
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Flu has determined i do NOT get my big night out on my Hall Pass tonight.
It was going so well until lunchtime and crash.