Selfie sticks - They have made the list!
Photo shopped photos of people on top of really tall buildings, pretending to take a selfie!
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Baristas. There are currently eight behind the modest sized counter in the Costa Iām currently in. No wonder my flat white is so bloody expensive.
Iāve just had the strangest experience. Some chap knocked on my door and asked if I like cold callers. He had a window sticker in his hand and said he was selling them for Ā£2 and it would then be illegal for cold callers to knock on my door again. I did point out the irony of what he was doing and he chuckled and agreed. I sent him away with a flea in his ear. Silly cunt.
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Did you buy a sticker?
If you didnāt, heāll be back, again and again. Probably pointing out that if you had, he wouldnāt be able to knock again.
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Burglars disguised as cold callers.
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Burglars.
Cold callers.
In that order.
Four people behind the bar, one punter the other side (me), ten minutes to get served.
asshats
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Hey BBC - Sue Perkins not appearing on Bake Off is not a fucking news story.
Put some proper news on your website you clowns.
And good luck with the hunt for people using iPlayer across the UK - I hope that search goes better than the forty years you unsuccessfully spent trying to find paedophiles in your own offices.
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The BBC didnāt report any of Southampton FCās signingās on deadline day. its a conspiracy I tell you a conspiracy.
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Donāt know if Iāve said this before, butā¦
Why does everybody need to be passionate about their job these days. I canāt get through CVās without someone saying they are passionate about quantity surveying or passionate about materials purchasing. What a load of bollocks. I interviewed someone who said they were passionate about estimating. Well, i said, your the first fucking bloke Iāve met that is.
Itās all a load of bollocks. Undoubtedly there will be some who are very happy about their jobs, but passionate? Fuck off.
The Cambridge English Dictionary defines passion as āā¦a very powerful feeling, for example of sexual attraction, love, hate, anger or other emotionā. I donāt want someone who is not in control of their emotions working for me. Or somone who goes off to the khasi to knock one out either, thatās my privilege!
Poke your passion up your arse.
Also, CVās that are full of spelling mistakes. I had one a few months ago where the fella was āContentiousā. Iām sure he meant to type āConscientousā. I let the Agency know in case they were sending the CV out wholesale. Six months later i get the same CV from a different agency. Fuckwit. No wonder he hadnāt secured gainful employment.
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We get loads with pictures on.
Most look like they should have lines in the background and a string of numbers at the bottom, however every now and then we get one which probably should have be left on facebook and probably not even there.
Needless to say the fit ones are immediately emailed around the office just in case āsomeone has a role for themā, at least thatās what they tell me.
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They put me in charge of employing new secretary one time, and I spent literally days trying to hunt all the applicants down on facebook, instagram, and tinder to see if they were good candidates. I eventually got it down to a longlist of approx 15, and was just trying to arrange informal interviews at weatherspoons when one of the managers said his daughter was looking for work and took it Out Of My Hands. Fkn nepotism, aināt it. No justice in this world! 
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You need someone to look after the frier whilst youāre knocking one out whilst watching xvideos.com in the staff loos??
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Hampshire Cricket!
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My missus says she is passionate about her job as a QS - passionate in the sense that she is continuously furious with all the numpties she has to deal with.
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Go on then I will Bite.
What does a WiFi pinching fry cook need a secretary for?
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Dog walkers who just let their dog shit all over the cycle path and do not cear it up! Oh and dog walkers on cycle paths. Oh and dogs, stupid dogs that just stop in front of you while on your bike and stare at you. Just dogs and their dog walkers. Funny enough, when it rains you do not see any of these dog lovers on the cycle path. I am sure they must love them and pop them in the garden when to cold and wet.
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Oh, and to give a balanced argument, cyclists who ride on footpaths where there are signs that say no cycling - especially when there is a fucking cycle path next to the footpath. And especially those fucking cyclists who run into me on said foot path and try to get all shouty for me being in the way. Cunt.
Not all cunts are cyclists and not all cyclists are cunts btw
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Agreed. I sometime walk, but not to often. I find no matter what mode of transport I am or just walking, others are in the wrong! But agree some cyclist are complete arses, a bit like some drivers and some walkers. Some people in general are cunts!
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