windows deciding to shut down my computer and install updates right in the middle of my clinic this morning, took over a fucking hour in which time I couldnāt access my diary, client notes or pornhub, fucking pisstake!
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Geneva airport sucks dick
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I concur!
Lancelot said Guinever sucks dick
To make matters worse, Iāve just noticed cunt chops himself on the plane - mr Rupert Lowe
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Give him a slap and youāll go straight to the top of this weeks leaderboardā¦
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I did consider telling customs that I thought he was a drug mule. The thought of him getting the rubber glove treatment appealed. Then again, knowing my luck, it would be me who was told to touch their toes.
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When you get a hug from a former member of One Direction in public.
THEN your wife calls to tell you she blagged corporate tickets for a Ricky Martin concert.
The shameā¦
Been thinking about this and wonder if your experience of Geneva airport was anything like mine was last week.
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Arrive at terminal 1, find out check in is at terminal 2, 10 min walk with my rather heavy snowboard bag.
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My check in desk is empty, Huzzah! Then quicly back down to earth with 50min queue to get through security, all the while staff insisting they cannot help me with getting to my gate quicker (I now have 10mins to get on my plane).
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Walk through the corridor marked āGates this wayā (or words to that effect), only to end up in a holding pen waiting 10mins for a shuttle bus to take me back to terminal 1. It travels at what feels like -2mph.
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Arrive at terminal 1, it is now 11.05 and my flight is at 11.00, I have now given up hope and slowly follow the signs for āDā gates resigned to having to get another flight and maybe even stay the night. Announcement comes over the PA declaring last call for my flight, I pick up the pace and end up running what must be at least half a mile through the airport to get to my gate.
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I am now met with a queue for passport control that is a 200 person deep bottleneck. I now have to discard everything inherantly English in my being and I push brazenly to the front of the queue to which pretty much everyone tuts at. I have made it onto my flight by the skin of my pants and I am exhausted, sweaty, and guilty for having made everyone wait (not to mention the previous pushing in).
Anything familiar or did you have different issues?
Iād say good skills @gavstar , unless the 200 people you pushed in front of were all getting your flightā¦
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That doesnāt sound like Geneva airport suckingā¦it sounds like you suck and are selfish. If I were waiting on that plane, I would have booed you when you boarded. Iād have orchestrated a gav out campaign. Weād have a hashtag #fuckgav or something. Iād have contacted the daily echo and turned them against you.
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Arrive in airport 2 hrs before flight to be faced with the biggest EasyJet bag drop queue I have ever seen. I thought bag drop was supposed to speed up the process. Half an hour in that queue, then off to security where the 500 people in front of me in the 3asyjet queue are joined by all of the other airlines passengers. 40 minutes later we get through this. Check the gate. 10 minutes walk. 15 mins in passport control, busting for a piss. Then arrive at gate for boarding.
Tip : If you fly easyJet to Geneva, get speedy boarding. They have their own bag drop. Best Ā£20 you will spend.
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This can be bypassed by weeping and apologising and shoulder barging.
Iād have the whole plane chanting āorganise your time better and stop keeping people waiting, you fucknutā
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This is bullying.
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TBF there are times when this is the least violent optionā¦
Oh, and next time just take fucking hand luggage, just like every other muthafreakin passenger waiting for you to stroll up - I have almost murdered Mrs C_S for insisting on hold baggage. Other countries have shops!!
Iām done. Glad thatās off my chestā¦
I canāt fit my snowboard in my hand luggage 
Or my realdoll.
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Get an inflatable one - doll, not snowboard 
Hire stuff or buy and dump anything else out there?
I have absolutely no idea how much snowboards cost btw - I suspect I should just shut up nowā¦
ā¦sorry