The 2017 Election Thread

And they’re off!

Hopefully the complete mess that education and health are in will make people overcome their fear of Corbyn and we’ll get these fuckers out. Doubt it though.

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Trust you lot to bugger up my week in Blighty.

Now all I’m gonna see and hear will be Political Shit.

Well, let me warn you I am fully armed and ready to retaliate with my Golf Stories.


What wil UKIP Stand for this time?

Pap must be creaming himself that Jezza’s revolution will finally get the platform it deserves (9 3/4)

Theresa will get a man on a date.


Just fucking Nuke us Donald

Bit scared. Not surprising.

I’ve said before that a majority of twelve isn’t enough. Not sure if the early timing helps or hinders Labour.

Bring on the TV debates.

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why don’t the Corbyn bro just say he’ll Cancel Fkn Brexit? I feel like that would get half the electorate On Side, which is a fk lot more than he is got at the Moment.


The detail that needs to be sorted…

Cannot believe anyone would try and stop the election - would show them to be very self-centered

The Fixed-term Parliaments Act 2011 provides for fixed days for polls for parliamentary general elections. The polling day for elections will ordinarily be the first Thursday in May every five years. The first such polling day will be on 7 May 2015. The Prime Minister will be able to defer, by statutory instrument, the polling day for such parliamentary general elections to a day not more than two months later than the scheduled polling day.

The Act also makes provision to enable the holding of early parliamentary general elections. The trigger for such general elections would be either a vote of no confidence in the Government, following which the House of Commons did not pass a motion of confidence in a Government within 14 days, or a vote by at least two-thirds of all MPs in favour of an early election.

May says she needs an election now because other parties are opposed to the government’s Brexit plans

May says the government has a plan for Brexit that will allow the UK to regain control of its laws and borders.

This is the right approach.

But the other parties oppose it, she says.

There should be unity in Westminster, she says.

But there is not, she says.

Labour has threatened to vote against the final deal.

The Lib Dems want to grind parliamentary business to a standstill.

The SNP opposes what the government is doing.

And peers have said they will oppose the government all the way.

She says she is not prepared to allow her opponents to jeopardise the Brexit negotiations.

If there is not an election now, game-playing will continue.

And she says the Brexit talks will conclude as election speculation is intensifying.

  • May says she needs an election now because other parties are opposed to the government’s Brexit plans.

May says she has only recently come to this conclusion.

  • May says she will move a motion in the Commons tomorrow proposing an election on 8 June.
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Bugger, should have held off on exchanging my Dollar based Dirhams for Sterling spending money

This election will be decided by who the electorate think will manage the Brexit process most effectively.

Can’t say I blame her what with Corbyn, Fallon and Krankie as the opposition

Be interesting to see what impact the Indy Ref 2 has on the SNP vote

In Political Terms, I doubt there has ever been such an Open Goal available. Scotland is irrelevant to the Tories, so she just hands that mess to Jezza to get reamed by Nicola, UKIP have nothing left to stand for and the Lib Dems have certainly not covered themselves in glory since they got retired for helping Dave.

Opportunism at its very best and it is so gonna upset the Europeans by delaying their point scoring negotiation options.

UK & France in Electoral Turmoil, North Korea, jeez where’s the Oxford English Translation of Nostradamus gone?

Bullshit Bingo time already!

Guido Fawkes

1 min ·

LINES TO TAKE FOR TORY MPs: This is what you will be hearing on your TV screens for the next 51 days

"The Prime Minister has just announced that an election will be held on 8 June – and that we will shortly take the necessary steps in Parliament to ensure that this can happen.

Key points to remember

We need this election now to secure the strong and stable leadership the country needs to see us through Brexit and beyond.

Every vote cast for Theresa May and the Conservatives will count to strengthen Britain’s hand in the Brexit negotiations.

We will stick to our Plan for a Stronger Britain and take the right long-term decisions for a more secure future.

The choice is between strong and stable leadership in the national interest with Theresa May and the Conservatives – or weak and unstable coalition government led by Jeremy Corbyn.

We need an election because:

It will strengthen the Prime Minister’s negotiating hand in Europe. Division in Westminster, and the Government’s small majority, risks weakening your Government’s hand in its negotiations with Europe.

It is the only way to ensure we have strong leadership, certainty and stability. An election now will give the country stability and certainty for a full five years, not just up to the point at which we leave the European Union but beyond it too.

And we do need an election now:

We have a one-off chance to hold an election while the European Union agrees its negotiating position and before the detailed talks begin. This decision cannot be delayed and needs to happen now. That is the only way to end the uncertainty the other parties are causing.

If we don’t have an election, we will have uncertainty and instability. The negotiations will reach their most difficult stage in the run-up to the next scheduled general election. Division in Westminster will risk our ability to make a success of Brexit and cause uncertainty and instability.

We have the right plan for negotiating with Europe. The Government will negotiate a deep and special partnership between a strong and successful European Union and a United Kingdom that is free to chart its own way in the world. That means we will regain control of our own money, our own laws, and our own borders – and we will be free to strike trade deals with old friends and new partners all around the world. The result will be a more secure future for our country and a better deal for you.

But our plan is opposed by the other parties. The country is coming together, but Westminster is still divided. In recent weeks, Labour have threatened to vote against the final agreement we reach with the European Union. The Liberal Democrats have said they want to “grind” the business of government “to a standstill”. The Scottish National Party say they will vote against the legislation that formally repeals Britain’s membership of the European Union. And unelected members of the House of Lords have vowed to fight us every step of the way. All the other parties are doing is playing political games and causing uncertainty about the future.

We will stick to our Plan for a Stronger Britain. Only Theresa May has the plan and the proven leadership to deliver the right deal for Britain abroad and a better deal for ordinary, working people here at home. We will stick to our Plan for a Stronger Britain and:

Establish Britain as the strongest country in Europe, in economic growth and national security. We will negotiate a deep and special partnership with our European neighbours. We will strike export deals for British goods and services. And we will lead the world in preventing terrorism and fighting modern slavery.

Build a stronger economy that rewards people who work hard and creates secure and well-paid jobs. We will make sure there is growth and prosperity around the whole country.

Provide real opportunity for all. We will give everyone a chance to get on in life, by building enough affordable housing and making sure there is a good school place for every child.

Build a more secure and united nation by taking action against the extremists who try to divide our society and standing up to the separatists who want to break up our country.

But we will also take the right long-term decisions for a more secure future. We will build on the good work we have done and stick to our Plan for a Stronger Britain. But, from the productivity of our economy to the need for a world-class system of social care, we will tackle head-on the long-term challenges we face as a country.

Theresa May is a strong leader who puts the national interest first and gets things done. When she became Prime Minister after the referendum, the priority was to provide economic certainty, a clear vision and strong leadership – and that’s what she delivered. She has also delivered on the mandate from the referendum, and begun the process through which Britain will leave the EU. Now she needs your support to lead Britain through the next five years and give the country the certainty and stability we all need.

You can only get the strong leadership the country needs by voting for Theresa May and your local Conservative candidate. A vote for any other party risks Jeremy Corbyn as Prime Minister, propped up in coalition by Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP, and the Liberal Democrats who just want to re-open the divisions of the referendum.

The choice facing the country at this election is all about leadership. The choice in this election is strong and stable leadership in the national interest with Theresa May and the Conservatives – or weak and unstable coalition government, led by Jeremy Corbyn."

If I was the Corbyn bro, I’d pop over to Brussels, and be like, listen up bros, we’ve got an opportunity here. I’ll run on a Cancel Fkn Brexit ticket, but in return, if I win + cancel Brexit, you’ve got to let us put cap on how many of ur disgusting foreign bros can come over to work here, and reduce our EU contribution by £51m per week. £50m goes to NHS, £1m goes to Me. Deal or No Deal?


And that is why you will never be a Politician Bear.

That is a FAR TOO SENSIBLE idea.

The Labour Party have denied that Corbyn was taken by surprise by this development


Ha Ha! This will be fucking funny as fuck. I bet all the other parties will have zero contingency plans for a snap election and will be running around like headless chickens for the next two weeks trying to muster up some sort of manifesto. Meanwhile May and her band of Dementers will be rolling out the lying shit they’ve been working on for the last few months, knowing that Cruella was gonna pull this stroke.

Great timing, what with HIGNFY coming back on the screens, too.


With a decent enough majority, May’s first target is going to be House of Lords reform -

Labour rinsed. Corbyn goes/doesn’t go - infighting for the next three years. Sadiq Khan doesn’t stand for re-election as London Mayor. Leads Labour to 2022 election victory.

Best case scenario. Possibly.


…that or brutally murdering every family’s firstborn.


A coalition of the three would be an interesting opponent, otherwise, it’ll be a mismatch.

But what sort of ticker could the three of them come together on?

Something that might unite 48% of likely voters?

What could do that?