I met Maradona. Luke Goss around 1988
I completely forgot but I actually dated (and fingered) Alison Bettles in the summer of 1985. Happy days. Her parents weren’t happy about it all. They said it was because it would interfere with her career. I suspect it was more to do with me being 35 at the time.
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After that I dated Rachel Victoria Roberts - just the once though. I couldnty handle her filth.
I fisted Susan Tully.
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I happen to be the actress Susan Tully, I can categorically say though that my vagina has never been “fisted” as you say.
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Whatabout your bumhole?
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Ok you win 
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very, very silly
Thirty or so years ago, I saw Richard Stilgoe in a London bookshop - Foyles or Colletts I think. He was talking loudly to a member of staff, as you might expect he would. Now I don’t know quite how this happened, but it did, and to this day I find it almost impossible to live with. To my eternal regret, I failed to tear his head off with my bare hands.
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Originally posted by @Fowllyd
Thirty or so years ago, I saw Richard Stilgoe in a London bookshop - Foyles or Colletts I think. He was talking loudly to a member of staff, as you might expect he would. Now I don’t know quite how this happened, but it did, and to this day I find it almost impossible to live with. To my eternal regret, I failed to tear his head off with my bare hands.
That damn Stilgoe!
Originally posted by @SaintBristol
Originally posted by @Fowllyd
Thirty or so years ago, I saw Richard Stilgoe in a London bookshop - Foyles or Colletts I think. He was talking loudly to a member of staff, as you might expect he would. Now I don’t know quite how this happened, but it did, and to this day I find it almost impossible to live with. To my eternal regret, I failed to tear his head off with my bare hands.
That damn Stilgoe!
I know. When I think of the crimes against decency that could have been avoided I hate myself for my weakness. The simple truth is, I never wanted adulation - in fact, I shunned it. The thought of being knighted would have given me palpitations, even at my (then) young age.
You can think me selfish for not putting these feelings aside and doing that which, deep in my own heart, I knew to be right. But in my defence I would have to say that, whille fully cognisant of the horrors that he had already caused (like so many of my generation, I bore the scars of exposure to That’s Life!), I looked upon him as a man whose force was spent. He had faded from the public gaze, and was reduced to accosting London bookshop staff - can you imagine Tim Rice in such straits?
How could I have known that Starlight Express was just around the corner? The horror, the horror.
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Don’t blame yourself 
I know absolutely no-one who is famous and I don’t ever recall really meeting anyone famous either so the nearest I can come up with is my ex wife was also friends with Colin Firth (and was also in that photo). Although I was once sat next to to MLT at the bar in the square balloon, but I was too star-struck to speak to him. Oh, and I used to play football with Brian Howard and Matt Targett. Well, not actually with them ,but with Brian’s dad (r.i.p.) and Matt’s grandad along with 6 other members of their family. All damn good footballers but enjoyed a drink or 10 and a smoke more than playing.
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So all those clickbait articles with the title “You’ll never believe what Eastenders’ Michelle looks like now” have some merit?
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Shared a table for lunch with Alan Ball at a pub near Winchester back when he,was at skatesmuff. Boy how he still loved us st that time talked for ages.
Tiger was in town down here. Year we wore Sash shirts & got on telly a lot & formed Dubai Saints.
On the Friday Tiger had invited us for a beer after. I invited youngest son. “Uh no Dad sorry but some Dude has asked me to take him skateboarding. .”
Son goes to shop doorbell rings Dude says " oh hi you must be Phil, Im Tony, hear you have a big day with Tiger today tell him I said hi."
I make coffee we talk flying shit Son comes in and says hey Dad you’ve met Tony?" I’m like yes.
“No Dad it’s TONY…”
Yeah it was Mr Hawkes. I’m rolling with my hero, Youngest is filming skateboarding vids around town with his hero.
My favourite “only in Dubai” tale if I’m honest
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A glove puppet with bad skin?
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I thought Tony wrote books (Around Ireland with a fridge etc) and appeared on tv / radio panel shows. I didn’t know he skateboarded as well…
He’s kept that quiet. Is there no end to the man’s talent? I’ll have word when I see him.
Oh, you mean the other Tony
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As a kid our football team was taken to Selhurst Park to meet the Crystal Palace team before the match against Rotherham. Tommy Doherty was managing Rotherham at the time and I saw him in the corridor on his own doing nothing so I went up to him and asked for his autograph. His reply was “Not now son, I’m busy.” Cunt.
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That’s Sir Richard Stilgoe to you.
A man who donated his royalties from Starlight Express to a village in India.
A man who runs charitable foundations for disabled and disadvantaged kids.
A man who brought a little word-punnery into the drab lives of word bores everywhere .
A man who kept Frank Bough’s nose out of the coke bowl for years.
A man who worked with Esther Rantzen but somehow managed to not brutally murder her.
Some would call him a Saint, yet you turn on him because he eschewed beatification by once raising his voice in a bookshop.
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Ah thanks for clearing that up Sir Richard.
Oops
Bletch