Ok but I should say that he didnt approach her out of the blue. She added him as a contact and then he sent the message to her. The example you give is well out of order and I certainly do not condone that sort of behaviour or harrassment. Ms Proudman says she has been touched up in a taxi by another lawyer and that is clearly wrong. She has also said that she has received death threats which is well out of order.
However I do thing that there is a serious debate about where you draw the line and what is the correct response. Carter-Silk is clearly an intellegent man and holds down a senior and responsible position. He is not some oik on a building site shouting show us your tits love. He sent one message which some people think was really offensive and others think has been blown out of proportion but he hasnt hounded this lady and he did apologise for causing offence. Personally I dont think he deserved to have a private message displayed for all to see on Twitter. There were other ways of dealing with the situation that were more in keeping with what has happened. If I were Ms Proudman I would have taken action over the guy who touched her up in the taxi - that is an actual offence - rather than kick off about one time message that people cannot agree whether it is offensive or not. I have worked for a number of CEO and line managers who have been female - some good some rubbish. I have worked in jobs where female earn the same rate as pay as males in the same grade - and would happily argue for equal rights and equal opportunities for women where that isnt the case. I dont have a problem with women but I do have a problem with appropriate responses. I will leave you with this final thought - the Sussex police have a police of removing the man from a domestic if there are children involved no matter who the agressor is. By remove I mean talking the man from his home and putting him in a prison cell overnight…appropriate response?
Now, I’m not too fussed about the subject of this debate. There are way too many grey areas and we have only a superficial understanding of the intent of the two people.
To ask someone to drop out of the debate though is just silly. By doing that, you are just saying I am right, you are wrong, now please just go away.
I can’t be bothered defending either side in this debate any more, but I will always defend the right of someone to hold an opinion whether similar to mine or otherwise.
I’ve had compliments from strangers, from girls & sometimes from bros, and it is a bit awkward cos i.e. when someone says to you i.e. i like the way i can see the shaft of ur penis crescenting down the thigh of ur too-tight jeans, if you politely say ok tks or whatever, quite often they then want to have a conversation with you, and I don’t neccesarily want to be talking on strangers all the time cos I’m business, and also bc the type of ppl who try and have conversations with strangers usually turn out to be mentalists.
But on the other hand, like krg’s girlfriend, if you ignore completely it seems rude somehow + they can get angar, and you can end up having a full on fistfight while krg stands off to one side doing absolutely nothing to help you.
One time when I was at Reading Festival bird come up to me & asked if she could take a photo of my “style” and after some confusion I had to stand there while she took a photo of my style, and then she went back to her tent prob to masturbate or whatever, and then it was bad cos for rest of Reading Festival she kept coming up & I had to talk on her, and then cos it was getting embarrasing I let her have my number, and then for weeks she was sending me random texts bout stuff which I was mostly ignoring, and then one night at like 2am I got a text saying “I’m killing myself bye sorry x”
However I do thing that there is a serious debate about where you draw the line and what is the correct response. Carter-Silk is clearly an intellegent man and holds down a senior and responsible position. He is not some oik on a building site shouting show us your tits love.
But that’s what makes it worse. The fact he is in a position of power. Just because he’s wearing a suit, doesn’t make his actions more respectable.
im not asking sog to drop out of the debate. I’m asking him to drop the “why can’t men give women a compliment anymore” line. Which the rest of my post quite clearly demonstrates, and explains why this idea has problems.
I quite often comment to the lady working behind the bullet proof screen in the post office: “You’re looking radiant today,” or “that blouse suits you, very summery.”
I do this because she is pleasant, I am polite and it makes her smile.
Do you reckon she secretly thinks I am going to press my bollocks up against the glass or hang around outside and beat her to a bloody pulp?
difficult to tell gb, if this bird is uncomfortable or not. I think ur prob ok, but try ramping it up a bit so we can find out where the line is. Be like:
Day 1: I like ur blouse or whatever
Day 2: Might I say, you do have a lovely figure
Day 3: Mmmm I could lick you like a stamp.
Day 4: Come on, sugartits, lower the glass. I’m not going to rape you. (In small voice, underbreath, whisper “Today”)
Day 5: I dunno, just stand there all day singing Get Ur Tits Out For The Lads, and making obscene gestures etc. Then follow her home.
Hello Goatboy. I wouldn’t take my word for it, but I’m sure she finds it very sweet. Politely saying nice genuine things to people is always recommended.
First, being expected to understand the difference between sending a stranger and potential business contact a message telling them you think they’re a stunner, and complimenting your wife.
And secondly having to think introspectively about the contradiction between how you behave towards other women, and how you expect your daughter to be treated.
It’s no wonder so many blokes feel the only option is to just blame the woman - because how else could these conundrums possibly be solved?!
We don’t want to change our ways, Coxford Lou. We like our ways! Can’t you have a word with the sisterhood, see about cutting us some slack. We’ve given way on so many things already! We no longer drag you into caves by ur hair for unrequited lovemaking, like we used to in caveman days. We let you vote on things, and wear trousers. We’ve even invented you morning after pill, so you don’t have to suffer the old traditional contraception methods like firm punch to stomach. How can you keepo asking for more? Have you no shame!
I’m sure there’s a compromise to be made, The Bear. You know me, I don’t like upsetting anyone!
How about, if you lot can sort out your obsession with boobs. Then we can be free to run around topless when the weather gets hot or when we need to feed our babies, without being told to put the horrible things away.
