What’s the best way to take money off people for a product I’m making. The proceeds are going to a registered charitable trust but I have to stump up the cash to have it made so I want to cover my costs before I send on the profits to the beneficiary. There are so many ways to pay online nowadays I want to pick one that’s not going to take a rare-off too.
Any ideas.
Tell them it will make their dick 12 inches long
I’m hoping the product will sell itself without infringing the Trades Descriptions Act.
What if I don’t want it shortened? 
I thought your girlfriend had to text you when you got in?
I think you’re telling porkies.
Both lines were invented for comedy effect. I’ve been meaning to break this to you for some time, but I am in fact female.
Which takes nothing away from “my girlfriend tells me to text her when its in.”
Definitely a cunt
Nobody likes a smartarse. 
