RIP Satoru Iwata

Very sad news in gaming, Satoru Iwata has passed away aged just 55.

President of Nintendo, developer and a touch of design. Responsible for an obscene amount of games that have given millions of people hours upon hours of enjoyment.

Iwata’s Credits

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Nintendo have been the masters of making videogames since the release of Super Mario Brothers.

Kotaku have a good article on Iwata.

kotaku.com/remembering-satoru-iwata-1717458797

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I reckon pap + KRG should have a Geek-Off to find out who has played most of this bros games, and therefore i.e. who gets to be Prime Geek of Papsweb!

I will get ball rolling! I’ve played Mario Karts prob 5 or 6 times vs my Niece, and I played one of the Super Mario Bros games one time for about 10 minutes. I dunno that I’ve played any of the others. I am not v.big on Computer Games rly.

Edit: RIP

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Ha, I haven’t counted, but suspect pap might win that bout.

Do I get bonus geek points for being a Game (technically Level) Designer?

YES

I mean depends. I spose if ur the bro that takes acid + just thinks up ideas like i.e. wouldn’t it be cool, right if there’s a gorilla bro, and he’s throwing barrels down ladders, or whatever it is, that wouldn’t be too bad, but if ur the bro that sits at the computer all day typing 010011011010010100101 etc that’s prob v.geek.

Here is some ideas for you to work on!

TRAFFIC JAM SIMULATOR: This is a racing game, but ur object is to hold up traffic as much as possible & cause massive tailbacks. You do this by cutting people off & causing crashes & pretending to stall at traffic lights & not letting people out at junctons & driving generally as slow as possible without letting any bros past. You’ve got to do it without the Traffic Cops seeing you tho! You can buy expansion packs in this game, which are like i.e. Caravans. You get bonus points if you send another driver into Road Rage mode.

DINOSAURS BACK TO THE FUTURE: Everyone know that Dinosaur Scientists made a time travel machine when they found out bout imminent meteor strike, and set it for i.e. 2016 when they thought that the Dust would have settled. This is a game bout when the dinosaurs arrive next year, and ur one of the dinosaurs and you have to eat all the humans, and try and find trousers in ur size and stuff like that, it’s like a Sims game prob.

SPERM SHOP: This is a business game where you ur selling sperms to i.e. lesbians, but you have to source the best sperms to get the best prices, so you go to sperm auctions and bid on i.e. athletes + law bros + bears, or if you ain’t got enough dollar you go round back and jack off homeless dudes, but then you have to trick the lesbians into buying homeless bro sperms, but watch out! When they find out they will be v.angar and you might have to give out free samples!

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Definitely the former, though usually without the acid. I cannot code in the slightest.

Some good ideas there though Bear. Ever considered getting into Game Design?

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Yeah I mean it came up at school in Careers Advice, they said I was qualified to be i.e. Dustbin Bro or i.e. Lavatory Attendant, or if I didn’t get good enough grades for that, they said I could always go in for Game Design

Git

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A ginger lad walks into the careers office at school.

“What do you want to be when you grow up, son?”

“Bald or grey”*

* Please don’t contact me with any accusations of ginger-ism. As everyone knows, I have lovingly maintained one of my own for over 20 years, and thus have diplomatic immunity to say whatever I like. If you want to have a go at anyone, M.I.A should be first on your list. Watch the video to Born Free. You’ll understand.

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