Rate My Toast


Best thing ever. Case in point:

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Ha, I literally just saw this twitter feed too.

They’re also riling up The Lad Bible, so extra points there. Did anyone see about TLB trying to sue Britain Furst (the piss take page of the nasty feckers) for calling them wankers?

Love the plate.

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The Lad Bible and its ilk are horrible fuckers. Although I guess if you found a way to monetise a way of stealing original content created by others and turning over huge profits by hosting it on your page, you’d be quite keen to protect that brand.

That toast is very anemic!

I had some toast today, with Pate on. Forgot how nice pate on toast is!

Yes that toast is like warmed up bread!

Strangely, my ever-loving wife likes her toast just like that in SuperMikey’s link. Anything with more than the merest tinge of browning she considers to be burnt. In other words, warmed-up bread.

I assume you spent many years coaxing her to have these unusual views of what’s burnt, so you don’t end up having to cook anything at Fowllyd Bistro. :clap:

I like your thinking, but sadly this isn’t the case. I make tea for my ever-loving wife (so weak it’s like hot water with milk in it) and I make her toast using the lowest setting on the toaster. She can’t be trusted to make tea for me, as what she thinks is strong is actually pissy and weak. She does occasionally manage toast which is brown enough though.

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My never-loving wife is like this too, she puts the bread in the toaster and will manually pop it within 30 secs, and the amount of cardio-vascular blocker she puts on her warm bread is unreal.

Luckily she doesn’t drink tea but she makes a fine cuppa.

Friend of mine used to do a radio show and thought it would be a good idea to do a ‘rate your date’ feature for lucky listeners. Unfortunately when it went out it sounded like ‘rape your date’ so never really took off.

Did they take that picture on a selfie stick!!

I preface this all with a statement that bread is the enemy. A couple of years of only knowing how to make toast and/or order kebabs will not do wonders for the figure.

I do have some thoughts. Toast is by default, a bit edgy. No longer the soft. moist slice of bread it once was, it has been tempered by heat and possesses an arguably limited shelf life*.

It is the ephemeral and natural choice of the twat that doesn’t know how to cook. I was that twat. Still, I learned that just shy of burnt is ideal. It’s 3.5 on my toaster.

Fave toppings with that are some peanut butter or marmite, with butter (or it’s nearest, non-butter, buttery alternative).

*If you forget you’ve left your bread in the toaster, don’t waste any peanut butter or marmite. Crack open the paté instead. Delicious, the toast doesn’t go in the bin, and it gives you a legitimate excuse to start on the plonk.