Phone vex

I work from home, and as a consequence, am the sole living thing able to answer the house phone when it rings. Most of the time, it’s a complete waste of time. I get PPI calls, news of refunds, surprise revelations that I was in a car accident and of course, people phoning me up to tell me that they’ve detected errors on my computer (although they never actually know my name).

The situation is compounded by the fact that we’ve only had our new number for a couple of years, and it evidently used to belong to a man called Mr Kitchen. I tell them that I am not Mr Kitchen, yet they still try to sell me stuff anyway.

Bastards! Anyways, phone vex. Vent.

Anyone else hoping the title was a typo?


Time again for a classic…


Genius call.

Not so genius linking. Why on Earth did you link that as image, Tokes?

Comes out fine on my laptop. What do you recommend? A link? Likes are for saint in paradise.

For vids, just copy and paste the link URL into the window on its own line.

You don’t need to do anything else.

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Ok, will do.

You know you can register with the Telephone Preference Service …it will either cut nuisance calls to a minimum or eliminate them entirely. We registered around 1998 and haven’t had any problems since.

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haven’t even answered the landline or checked the messages in prob 2 years. I only like having one cos a) I’ve got a cool retro looking one & b) sometimes I need to ring my mobile phone to find out which seat cushion it’s hiding behind.

You have a landline?!


Are they the people that keep cold-calling me with the taped message: “Are you fed up with nuisance calls …”?


It came with the internets

No…that would be me…sorry. :blush:

Don’t answer the phone, I never do and don’t even know my landline phone number…forget my rubbish advice as you work from home :blush:

I’ve just stuck this new number on the TPS list. I seem to remember that being something of a winner on the old number, except we still used to get international chancers ring up occasionally.

I used to fuck with the few that got filtered too. The first question I usually asked the virus scammers was “what’s my name”. I let rip after that. At other times, I would pretend to comply and describe the contents of other websites. Invariably, I’d get to a point where either myself or one of my family gave the game away. The phone would be hung up amongst peals of laughter.


The ones that annoy me are when they phone me and then ask me to prove who I am. I once had my Mortgage provider ring up at 8am on a Saturday morning to discuss a new deal as mine was coming to an end. 8am on a saturday was bad enough, but then the mush on the line asked me to prove who I was with some security questions. The answer was something along the lines of “Poke it up your arse, you cheeky twat!” before hanging up. I like to think that it was recorded and used for lolz on narky customers in some training room somewhere.


We used to get loads of international numbers phoning about this, that or the other. TPS can only do so much. So we bought some BT phones (think they’re called 6560 or something like that). They’ll mute the ring for international or witheld numbers (you can choose which or both). Absolute god send working nights, can now sleep through the day.

It has the added bonus that it mutes the mother in law, as she witholds her number :grin:

An old thread for an old joke.