Given the kids age… That would be illegal!
He wouldn’t have to actually hold the real item, this isn’t the BBC.
A BBC? Even worse! 
Dorset
It would never advertise itself as such, but Dorset is the most successful county in the country when it comes to stealing prime real estate from other counties.
The Great Dorset Theft, 1974
In 1974, the dastardly Dorset used ongoing government legislation to pocket Christchurch and pilfer Bournemouth, aided by council apparatchiks in Hampshire who wanted to lower the OAP bill.
The theft was conducted in plain sight and signed into law by no less than the Queen herself — but normally deferent locals were not happy.
Most affected were the cricket fans, who’d spent their entire lives supporting Hampshire and now found themselves in the county of their local rivals.
It was like Liverpool becoming Manchester overnight.
The Present
Dorset has never really come to terms with the popularity of Bournemouth.
Town planning was something they only ever had to do for a couple of villages — and only for a few thousand people.
Now, thanks to Bournemouth, the traffic is so bad it can take seven weeks to get from Poole to Christchurch.
In a particularly fast car.
Smugglers in the area claim:
“I’ve done the Christchurch to Poole run in 12 minutes.”
Few believe them.
London on a busy day is calmer.
The Future
The denizens of Hampshire have become ever-vigilant to prevent further incursions.
During the construction of the M27, local lobbyists ensured the motorway would not reach Dorset — fearing it might become a staging ground for the capture of Lymington.
Hampshire loyalists have formed a militia operating on the county’s edge.
“They’ll be after the bloody Forest next,” they say.
“They’ve got a bit already.”
The loyalists have recently concluded a deal to purchase a cache of obsolete anti-personnel guns at a discount — utterly undeterred by the fact that each one takes an hour to set up.
“That’s fine,” one Hampshire defender said.
“It’ll take them at least an hour to get onto the A35.”
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They’ll never rake away seeing Richards & Greenidge open the batting at Bompey
Im sure I saw Richads get 100 before lunch
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Barry returns.
@pap vanishes.
Coincidence?
