Fuck me dead.
Barryās corpse is into necrophilia by the sound of the opening post.
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Iām in a queue to get in, online, thisāll be lethal boring, a right set up as well, fucking snide fixed camera, moving it for the Queens shilling.
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My old man had to do one in Worthing after getting caught in Newport South Wales.
Got a speeding ticket on the way to the Brighton 
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I got done in my new Mk2 GTi 16v in North Baddesley by a cop holding a hair dryerā¦Cunt. 
A few years ago now.
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Nobody beats my ticket.
44 in a 30 limit.
By a Cop.
Sitting on my front garden
After Iād given written permission for them to be there
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You monumental fucking idiot
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50/50 
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I did one early in lockdown
It ok - they are a damn sight shorter and more convenient than having to do one in normal circumstances
I learnt a lot. So much so that I got nicked again three months later
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One tea break, Iāve got every question wrong, the instructor almost feels my pain, Iām anywhere but here, Iāll even take the 3 fucking points and fine,
Well I pleaded that it was the first time Iād ever broken the speed limit but he didnāt listenā¦still got 3 points. 
They probably didnāt believe you.
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I even made the Daily Fail.
(And people wonder why I left the country)
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Never driven a Model Tā¦looks bloody complicated although I do think I could manage the hi-fiā¦
His first ticket was for not having a bloke running in front of the car waving a flag.
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I ran him overā¦always been a fast driver.
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Just got an email now, I havenāt been this happy since I won that goldfish on the common 40 years ago.
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Awwwā¦I hate to tell you the resultsā¦Your Speed Awareness Course has Fin Rot. 
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I did a speed awareness course a while back, I think I may have mentioned that it was held at my old junior school (which is now an adult education centre).
The course was actually in my old classroom which looks like it hadnāt changed in the near 40 years since Iād last been in it, now that was a sense of real disconnect.
Anyway, they said in the course that you have to declare that youāve done a speed awareness course to your insurers. I think the feeling is most people were doing the course to avoid the points and any insurance hikes!!