Weāre simple people with simple lives
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Where did you get those curtains? (Asking for a friend)
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Looks nice and middle class to me my young rotund unfunny friendā¦ although you get points docked if that is tinsel on the tree?
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Either Santa is a Giant or he has sprayed the Corgis red again and stars antlers to their little heads
Well I for one would like to wish my rotund and chucklesom friend @Fatso a very Happy Christmas. 
The rest of you can fuck off. 
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No tinsel. Those are pearls that you can see.
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And the same to you!
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I wish everyone a hugely joyous and wonderful Christmas and New Year - please over indulge and make merry in true Dickensian styleā¦ I hope your Goose is large and fine and that no touch of humbug enters your abode to tame the Christmas cheer!
Love and fine frolics to you all
And Gord bless us, everyone of us!
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Christmas number 1 songs on the playlist of a colleague. Iāve been waiting for RATM to come on. It finally did today. Me and my manager were v happy. The late 50 /early 60s women were not so enamoured and it was turned off. 
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Like hell they are. You stole your wifeās anal beads, didnāt you 
What they dont tell you about all this Dashing through the snow is how bllody annoying it is to have to keep jumping out the way
Anyway here was me toasting you lot earlier & my Xmas Trees
Now back in cold rainy Krakow. May your stockings be as stuffed as I will after the 12 dishes of Wigilia
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Right last of the family done - back to the bunker to wrap and get shitfaced, not necessarily in that order
Bah humbug
This fucker is the bane of my life. The Ayatollah never had a stocking as a kid, so one year I thought is would do one for her. Went down a treat.
However imagine the haunted look on my face when it got put by the fireplace at lunchtime the following Xmas eve, and I hadnāt expected to see it again?
Eighteen years later, this little bastard pops his head up regular as clockwork and I have to somehow fill it.
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Nope I couldnāt fill it. Way too small for mineā¦
Oh SHIT!
Help!!
We have a Christmas Pudding for tomorrow.
Just remembered.
We dont have a Microwave (not needed with Polish Cuisine)
So how the hell do you heat up a Pudding?
I recall Mum steaming them, but how?
Do I need a Plumber?
Steam it for an hour or so if itās already been cooked (i.e. steamed for four hours). If you donāt have a steamer then you can just put the pudding bowl in a pan of very gently simmering water, but a proper steamer is best.
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Thatās the spirit Bob.
Iāve told everyone that wants presents, they are getting cash.
My daughter that only wants cash, got very annoyed when i informed her that sheās the only one getting a present.
āI wonāt like it and will only have to change itā and such like she protested. I then reminded her of an old book sheās had her eye on for a couple of years and she shut up.
Christmas is going well so far for me.
Iāve pissed everyone else off and shut my daughter up.
Looking forward to the new year 
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