🎄 New Year

I am coming to the conclusion you are all far too organised. So far I have not purchased one pressie or prepared any food. Wrapping of pressies traditionally takes place Christmas Eve as does food prep. I do not understand people who have everything organised so far in advance. How come despite this fault I seem to like most of you?

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Because we are all hopeless drunks ?

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No

This year Lady Slowlane and I will be having Swan…a big one.

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But seriously.
On 23rd I will go to the village shop. I will pick some Carp & Trout & take them home.
They will be placed in a tank for 24 hours.
On Xmas Eve Mrs P_F will fight off family members as she prepares Wigelia- 12 dishes.
Soups, Pierogi, Fish - no meat, no alcohol & about a dozen different cakes which were made during the previous week.
A 12 course meal. Finishing about 9pm.

At 8am I will start the Turkey prep. The locals experienced Turkeyvroast for the 1st time last year. We have a queue wanting to join our “bubble” for this year. There is no alternative Roast meats simply cannot be found here & we dont have the budget for a custom cut.

The Turkey is cooked breast down. It reduces the crispy skin BUT enhances the moisture. It will rest while the veggies roast - home grown root veg obviously.
The big secret is to carve the Turkey breath, place in a casserole dish with liberal spoons of water sprinkled round. Then microwave until you can see the steam.
Serve.
Cranberry, White & Bread sauce will be rare. Mrs P_F has to make white/bread from scratch & Cranberry sauce is as rare as Branston Pickle here.
Frozen Sprouts, Peas & yes, bloody Bisto.

A Christmas Pudding MAY arrive, Stilton with no crackers & Port is sorted.

The stuffing of the inside of the Turkey will be Apple Lemon, Mandarin, Garlic Onion. It will HOPEFULLY be sealed in with a sausage meat made from ground pork & anything we can find to approximate sausage meat.

Supper will be white bread, butter, Mayo, sliced Turkey, fresh ground Himalayan Salt & Vietnamese Black Pepper.

I would absolutely be like you if I could, however I have a wife who runs Christmas like a military operation and nags me mercilessly if things don’t get done.

I suppose it’s got to be done for the kids but I hate the pressure that she puts herself under for Christmas…

Come Christmas day I get up early to put the turkey in as we have dinner at 12:00, luckily I’ve managed to convince Mrs BTripz that a turkey doesn’t have to be cooked for 12 hours, we then have the fun of the kids opening their presents.

I then sequester myself in the kitchen to cook dinner (don’t normally drink as Mrs BTripz used to sing in the evening and I used to go to the venue to set her equipment up).

C-i-L and his family come around in the afternoon to give their presents and be cocky!!

Evening is then spent chilling and drinking my port…

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Whoops - I forgot about the Sherry.
Years ago Sherry used to sit in the cupboard for years, but I found out that if I get the several bottles out on Xmas day, on the pretext that “people will probably like a Sherry when they arrive”, then I could be drinking Sherry for some time unobserved, so that by the time lunch was ready, I was well into the being silly part of drinking too much.
All made easier by the fact that people (except me) didn’t really want a Sherry at all.
Will still be OK this Xmas, as there will be two visitors, who I know won’t be drinking my Sherry, but to be polite, I will have to have it out ready!

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I normally chef right through Christmas, and enjoy it. But this year Christmas is chez Shroppie daughter #2, with MU supporting partner :roll_eyes: and new grandson :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:, first we’ve had together for 23 years.

So not sure whether my offer to take over the kitchen will be rejected or warmly accepted. Either way, win win. And I get turkey, something utterly banned by Mrs S.

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I normally cook (roast goose by choice) and have some of Mrs Waylander’s extensive family to lunch but not this time; its goose for two.

both of these are best avoided.

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While undoubtedly true, such a statement borders on treason. :grin::grin:

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nope both are shite.

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I’m not saying they aren’t. But it’s like saying outright that one dislikes dogs or cats, it just isn’t the done thing to admit it.

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Oh this could be fun.
I’m Pissy Spunkbubble

Randy Wanker for me.

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Uncanny. :open_mouth:

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Either

Randy Knob-Jockey or
Big Balls Knob-Jockey

Either way I’m a Knob-Jockey :man_shrugging:t2:

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Jingle Knob Jockey here.

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Seems to be a few Knob Jockeys on this site. Who would have thunk it!

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