I am coming to the conclusion you are all far too organised. So far I have not purchased one pressie or prepared any food. Wrapping of pressies traditionally takes place Christmas Eve as does food prep. I do not understand people who have everything organised so far in advance. How come despite this fault I seem to like most of you?
Because we are all hopeless drunks ?
No
This year Lady Slowlane and I will be having SwanâŚa big one.
But seriously.
On 23rd I will go to the village shop. I will pick some Carp & Trout & take them home.
They will be placed in a tank for 24 hours.
On Xmas Eve Mrs P_F will fight off family members as she prepares Wigelia- 12 dishes.
Soups, Pierogi, Fish - no meat, no alcohol & about a dozen different cakes which were made during the previous week.
A 12 course meal. Finishing about 9pm.
At 8am I will start the Turkey prep. The locals experienced Turkeyvroast for the 1st time last year. We have a queue wanting to join our âbubbleâ for this year. There is no alternative Roast meats simply cannot be found here & we dont have the budget for a custom cut.
The Turkey is cooked breast down. It reduces the crispy skin BUT enhances the moisture. It will rest while the veggies roast - home grown root veg obviously.
The big secret is to carve the Turkey breath, place in a casserole dish with liberal spoons of water sprinkled round. Then microwave until you can see the steam.
Serve.
Cranberry, White & Bread sauce will be rare. Mrs P_F has to make white/bread from scratch & Cranberry sauce is as rare as Branston Pickle here.
Frozen Sprouts, Peas & yes, bloody Bisto.
A Christmas Pudding MAY arrive, Stilton with no crackers & Port is sorted.
The stuffing of the inside of the Turkey will be Apple Lemon, Mandarin, Garlic Onion. It will HOPEFULLY be sealed in with a sausage meat made from ground pork & anything we can find to approximate sausage meat.
Supper will be white bread, butter, Mayo, sliced Turkey, fresh ground Himalayan Salt & Vietnamese Black Pepper.
I would absolutely be like you if I could, however I have a wife who runs Christmas like a military operation and nags me mercilessly if things donât get done.
I suppose itâs got to be done for the kids but I hate the pressure that she puts herself under for ChristmasâŚ
Come Christmas day I get up early to put the turkey in as we have dinner at 12:00, luckily Iâve managed to convince Mrs BTripz that a turkey doesnât have to be cooked for 12 hours, we then have the fun of the kids opening their presents.
I then sequester myself in the kitchen to cook dinner (donât normally drink as Mrs BTripz used to sing in the evening and I used to go to the venue to set her equipment up).
C-i-L and his family come around in the afternoon to give their presents and be cocky!!
Evening is then spent chilling and drinking my portâŚ
Whoops - I forgot about the Sherry.
Years ago Sherry used to sit in the cupboard for years, but I found out that if I get the several bottles out on Xmas day, on the pretext that âpeople will probably like a Sherry when they arriveâ, then I could be drinking Sherry for some time unobserved, so that by the time lunch was ready, I was well into the being silly part of drinking too much.
All made easier by the fact that people (except me) didnât really want a Sherry at all.
Will still be OK this Xmas, as there will be two visitors, who I know wonât be drinking my Sherry, but to be polite, I will have to have it out ready!
I normally chef right through Christmas, and enjoy it. But this year Christmas is chez Shroppie daughter #2, with MU supporting partner and new grandson
, first weâve had together for 23 years.
So not sure whether my offer to take over the kitchen will be rejected or warmly accepted. Either way, win win. And I get turkey, something utterly banned by Mrs S.
I normally cook (roast goose by choice) and have some of Mrs Waylanderâs extensive family to lunch but not this time; its goose for two.
both of these are best avoided.
While undoubtedly true, such a statement borders on treason.
nope both are shite.
Iâm not saying they arenât. But itâs like saying outright that one dislikes dogs or cats, it just isnât the done thing to admit it.
Randy Wanker for me.
Uncanny.
Either
Randy Knob-Jockey or
Big Balls Knob-Jockey
Either way Iâm a Knob-Jockey
Jingle Knob Jockey here.
Seems to be a few Knob Jockeys on this site. Who would have thunk it!