New Music Thread ...."What if ........ "

What if Pap knew how to wipe his arse without getting shit on his scrot?

What if Tim Harding’s love interest wasnt the slighest bit bothered if he was a chippy, but did happen to be infertile?

What if Bob Dylan’s plans to give up his employment in agriculture had been scuppered by a down turn in the ecoconmy and a subsequent lack of job opportunities elsewhere?

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What if Toyah didn’t insist on abruptly reviewing her favourite Ruth Rendell book?

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What if Queen had put Ben stokes on to bowl for the last over of the game?

What if Dexys Midnight Runners hadn’t decided to pull out and finish all over Eileens chest?

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What if ABBA had all been orphans?

What if Marc Bolan had no sexual interest in percussive instruments?

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What if Kurt Cobain had a blocked nose and lost his sense of smell?

This one answers itself … What if it hadn’t been a Lovely Day when Bill Withers went out? It must have happened when he wrote Ain’t No Sunshine :slight_smile:

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What if Billy Ocean had had a better education and realised that “Red Light” spells “Red Light”… not “Danger”. It’s not even an anagram or palindrone FFS.

What if Bing Crosby hadn’t joined The KKK in early December?

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and finally for now … What if Bobby Goldsboro had lost his cherry in November?

What if Lady Gaga’s eye twitched furiously whenever she was dealt a decent hand of cards?

Turns out no matter how proud of that joke I was my missus still didn’t find it funny.

She not a fan of sticky bewbs then?

What if Pete Townshend had fallen for the same trick twice?

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What if God was eight and not seven?

What if Slade had undergone a successful session of cognative behavial therapy?

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What if Julie had gone out with John instead of Gordon?

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