As much as the existing song trips off the tongue, it would be too funny to have a new Charlie Austin song to the Parklife tune.
I’ll wait for all your witty input.
Tres bon. CD
You should cut down on your porklife mate. Get some exercise
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Run that by me again, it went by in a bit of a blur…
I get up when I like except on Wednesdays when I get rudedly awakened by the dustmen.
(That is actually true, since they changed the collection days last year)
Yeah, but how many Wednesdays do you put your trousers on and think about leaving the house? Let’s start there, shall we? 
Depends if I’m feeding the pigeons.
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So it’s tackle out for the sparras, is it?
You filthy bastard.
It gives me a sense of enormous well-being.
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That’s not what the sparras say after you proclaim that you’re safe in the knowledge that you’ll “always be a part of them”.
They’ll be down the bird nick, reporting a crime.
Luckily, human coppers don’t give a fuck what bird coppers think.
I thought they all went hand-in-hand. Or wing.
Some good news. Clearly they couldn’t defend the referee either.
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Assuming we are still in the Premier League next year… 
Becoming a meme is the most effective thing he’s done this season.
At least it has put a smile back on our faces
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