How did West Ham manage this?!

OK, I’m jealous.

One possible theory:-

"Hello Mr Referee,

I hear on the terraces that you’re a bit of a wanker.

_Wanna meet some porn stars? We know loads. _

It’s better than tossing yourself off to a picture of Pierluigi Collina. Just go easy on the lads, eh? No-one will notice. It’s just West Ham. Fair play, mate"