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:fork_and_knife: Gorgeous recipes


Hi guys. Bear here. Home alone.

I have a potato here, and i have an oven. How long do i have to put the potato in the oven to make it nice? Is 20 mins about right?

Srs question no trolls pls


20 minutes is too short Bear, unless you first coat the potato in washing up liquid.

If you do that first, then 20 minutes will be fine.


How long then, you unhelpful beltch! 30 mins?


20mins is too short to do it properly

if you are in a hurry & have a metal skewer then run that through the middle of the spud - it’ll speed up cooking time (a metal knife will work)

alternatively phone your local curry house - a lamb bhuna and pilau rice would be my choice this early in the evening


You inadvertently spelled my name incorrectly, Bear.

Got a microwave?


Put oven on 200-220c to warm up.

Put large spud in microwave (pricked first*) for 9-10 mins (900w).

Coat spud in oil, salt and pepper.

Put spud in oven for 20-30 mins to crisp up.

*this process involves a fork and not a penis.


Yeah good thinking, i’ll shove a knife though it like Cobham suggests then pop in microwave for half hour or so tks guys


BBC breaking news:

Bearsy blows up kitchen by trying to microwave jacket potato skewered with a metal knife.

Neighbours unsurprised.A neighbour who was too frightened to reveal his name said “Mr B Earsy is no stranger to disaster, I shudder to recall the great toilet incident of '83 after he had been on the sauce for a week solid. Let’s just say, the Geological Society recorded a tremor of 8.9 on the Richter Scale…”


Cobber, Brian’s a doctor not a Mr.

He specialises in gynaecology - even though he trained in idiocy.


Originally posted by @saintbletch

Cobber, Brian’s a doctor not a Mr.

He specialises in gynaecology - even though he trained in idiocy.

Thank fuck I don’t have a lady garden for him to rummage in


N.B. Keep the microwave door closed for as long as possible to reduce the splatter effect.


Are you dead yet, bear?


Are you sure it’s a potato Bearsy?


I am not proud of my search history.


aOriginally posted by @Goatboy


I am not proud of my search history.

I almost shat myself laughing. This is why the interweb was invented. :lou_lol:


Bbq Leg of Lamb

1 Large leg of lamb.

Bone and butterfly. Keep the shank for another day.

Dry roast a handful of cumin seeds, fennel seeds and coriander seeds. crush.

marinade for a few (min 3) hours in salt, pepper, garlic, spices, chillies, lemon juice, ev olive oil, chopped coriander and mint.

BBq slowly for 40 mins or so.

serve in pitta with yoghurt and fresh mint and veg if you like.



Does that recipe also work for leg of goat?


Only if you substitute the goat…


It probably would work with goat but would need more cooking time. Also I have never butchered a goat as it wouldn’t feel right. I can butcher most things.

Goat, like mutton, works better with lower temperatures and longer cooking times. Nice lean cut of goat would be ok on the grill.


You’re a cruel man …