Is that what you do? Just stare at your hardware?
If so, send me it all and Iāll replace it with some black boxes with strip-lights inside.
Iāll throw in a plug and the remote control 
Been doing some retro gaming so Iāve been playing something even most of the siteās crusties will have heard of.
Mr Do.
What I really like about it is that you can clear levels two ways. You can either collect all of the delicious cherries, or you can go assassin mode and just eliminate all of the enemies on the level.
I do a bit of both. I get the little bastard to eat most, but not all of the cherries, but kill everything.
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A few mini reviews of stuff Iāve been playing lately.
The Crew 2
Got this for fifteen nicker off Steam. It wasnāt super well-received at the time of release but if you just want to chill in a miniaturised version of America (you can drive to NY from SF in about an hour!) itās fun. Everything I wanted Cruisinā USA to be and more.
Hades
Iām back on this shit with a vengeance. My overall play time is disgusting. I have something like 180 hours, which means I have spent 22 working days playing this thing, or nearly all of my annual leave. I did not use much annual leave to play this. Very classy game. Diablo in rogue-like form, but with a controller and not dull.
Yakuza - Like A Dragon
Never played this series much before, but this is a turn-based affair, and as we all know, old men with no reflexes lurve the turn based games. It is Japanese as fuck in more senses than just the Yakuza - lots of cut scenes, etc, but Iām loving it. The series has accidentally become Paper Mario-like in nature, and I love it for that.
Doing a bit of retro gaming. This is a classic.
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Spent a good deal of yesterday playing the original XBox version of Sid Meierās Pirates!
Pirates! has been out on tons of platforms - it was even on the C64. The version Iām playing is a console port of the 3D remake. Same mechanics as in 1987 are just as appealing now.
There have been other pirates games since, sure - but none quite have the magic of this one.
I got the new Wario Ware game on Switch. Itās actually pretty revolutionary for the series. Previously, there was only one way to do each mini-game. This time out, you have a crew of characters with different abilities and are mandated to use different characters to solve the same mini-game.
Really didnāt think Iād like the change, but it freshens the series up completely.
Iāve been playing one of those Yakuza games, specifically Yakuza : Like a Dragon. The series has been going on for ages and is very Japanese. This is the first that Iāve put any serious time into.
It is simultaneously a gripping crime saga, full of endearing moments and also, one of the silliest things Iāve ever played.
Example. One of the dudes you meet and take on as an ally is a homeless person when you meet him. One of his special attacks involves throwing a load of grain at your opponent to attract a flock of deadly pigeons. Another one of this attacks is fire-breathing ethanol.
Iāve been looking at buying Death Loop but my PC doesnāt meet the minimum spec for the game. I know I could probably get away with what I have but why run the risk?
No point buying it for the PS5 as Iāll never get on the blessed thing to play it.
I have, therefore, been looking at the cost of upgrading my system to the top recommended spec, AMD Ryzen 7 etc. the cheapest I have so far is Ā£500 and thatās without upgrading my GPU. If I go for a Ryzen 9 then weāre up to Ā£750!!
Probably better for me to buy an X-Box to put under my desk and sack off my PC (I have a Chromebook for the daily tasks)ā¦
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I think a lot of PS5 owners are going to get a Series X/S.
I did consider buying a new graphics card but theyāre stupidly pricey and not the sort of thing one can easily justify to the missus.
Er, hallo, Iād like to spend Ā£800 on a new GFX card which will forever be intangible to you and just a massive hole in the balance sheet
vs
If I get a Series X do you want my old XBox?
I think Deathloop is only a timed exclusive.
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Yeah, think itās on the X-Box at the end of October, I can waitā¦
Iāve recently finished Deathloop on PS5 - itās really really good.
All of the marketing doesnāt really represent the gameplay. Itās a really good puzzle challenge to solve and the combat and abilities are very fun. Having human players gatecrash your game at a crucial moment and try and kill you is infuriating but a good element.
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In a weird twist of acquisitions, Microsoft actually own the studio after buying Bethesda. Existing contracts in place, like.
Iāve installed eFootball 2022, out today, previously known as Pro Evolution Soccer.
The base game is free - itās going to be supported Fortnite style through in-app purchases. It probably still doesnāt have all the real kits.
But for nowt, itās one hell of a beautiful game.
None of these games beat the one I am usually found playing. Dodge the wet dog, itās free and keeps you fit, as an incentive you never win
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Do you ever get to play āshit or sockā?
Our dog is probably in her last year so I get to play it a lot.
I am pleased to say not yet. My oldest is only 12yr so a little while to go yet I hope
Duder Bunny-Ho Bros.
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I have finally finished playing Mass Effect 1, taking the Renegade (e.g. complete bastard) route. I was a huge fan of Biowareās work on Knights of the Old Republic, and love this sort of game. I played the recently released Legendary Edition, which moves the controls away from their Neverwinter Nights origins and turns it more into a cover based shooter.
I enjoyed it a lot. Am installing the second instalment now.
The Mass Effect games ate my weekend, and rightly so. Halfway through the second game, which not only improves on every area of the first game, but also carries your choices through too.
Now I suspect that when I replay these games, the outcomes will be broadly similar but the means of getting there will differ.