use caution if you
buy Gumtree goods unchecked
St. Peter wisely instructed
, otherwise your used dildo
could be infected with
mock shock indignation syndrome
which is highly embarrassing!.
The Devil playfully tortured
Sotonians, by sending Barry
1 Like
an envelope containing anthrax
masks to every member
but – ‘hating schooling’ – fortunately…
Halo had other idea’s
Barry mistakenly sent the
Things are moving so fast, another update is required to keep track of the rapidly unfolding drama…
The Story so far…
Once upon a time, Barry shone then died.
On arrival, St Peter, kicked off his sandals and cut his toenails; the clippings he placed (in) Paps arse for pumping.
Freud had (a) field day, where he left his castanets. “Where are my Les Dennis nipple clips?” choked Buzz Aldrins daughter.
Hanging on the end (of Buzz Aldrin’s daughter), St. Peter tried to find an appropriate category to stick his halo; which was in need, as Halo is special. So says Mrs Halo, who’s maiden name was Jones, which is lovely.
He found the perfect bed chamber for copulation and placed Halo there. A virgin for sacrifice, (an ancient heavenly custom).
Although well practiced orally, St. Peter was rehearsing for the return of Barry from his judgment; which as expected, he was looking forward to. Biting the pillow along with Halo, was likely.
They were soon joined, to hear Allah’s verdict, burn them in hell one option, purgatory another.
Allah gave a suicide manual with lovely illustrations - called ‘Blowing The Infidel’. Barry’s eyes started watering. Then he was howling “Who forgot the lube” as he blew his hash cakes, scattering flies and dung to the back porch, then left (to complete his sentence), heading back to Liverpool (the harshest of punishments). Keep your enemies closer then Stab from behind the velvet curtain (euphemism).
In the beginning was a gaping dark hole, which appeared empty but the light at the beginning of time was just Thomas coming down from his massive high. He had used Barry and left him broken - gagging, limping and sobbing. Deep in his cups the tears fell like steel drops from Llanwern, drops of metaphorical gism splattered and burnt the affair into his mind like immigrant Muslims exploiting (the) Horses of Ancient Troy. Riddled with alien diseases like Barry’s slack bumhole, it was presented to the world for probing. Barry’s arse was decimated. Contractile force all gone.
** Slack Alice, his sister, looked on in anticipation – her dildo poised, ready to block the backflow. “What a whopper!” said St. Peter, looking down from above. “I wish I could explain my twisted reasoning, but it looks lumpy (well smooth it Delilah!), with nasty spiked protrusions that Cromwell used. Place your hand on the dirty, ragged old windsock shaft, and force it thick end first, up and firmly home. Ignore the profuse bleeding, (it’s) only blood, but mop the shit from his sweltering glutes.”
“Use caution if you buy Gumtree goods unchecked”, St. Peter wisely instructed, “otherwise your used dildo could be infected with mock shock indignation syndrome, which is highly embarrassing!”
The Devil playfully tortured Sotonians, by sending Barry (with) an envelope containing anthrax masks to every member, (Halo had other idea’s) but – ‘hating schooling’ – fortunately Barry mistakenly sent the…
Dildo to the midget
fetish lovers at TSW.
The sandal wearing lefties
could not believe their
hand-crafted muesli had only