DIY advice

I am currently restoring a mahogany desk. I am using a selection of glasses to mix things like oxalic acid, bleach, mineral spirits etc. I also like to have a little snifter of bourbon and soda while working.

I’ve just tasted the absolute worst bourbon I ever tasted.

Should I take the bourbon back to the store and complain, or should I go straight to the distillery and rip them a new asshole?

I have also noticed that the desk is wandering around the garage and pissing in all the corners. Is this normal?


Shooting the distiller is a perfectly legitimate solution, especially in the US of A.

This was actually an almost true story. The inebriate desk thingy was a lie. I called off work after drinking a fair swig of oxalic acid thinking it was lemonade…It was probably their funniest voicemail ever as almost the entire voicemail was contained within one long belch. I was never particularly worried though, I just saw the excuse for a day off work, so I took it. It must have been a very convincing voiemail though!

And this is why you should always keep you play/drinking area away from your working area.

I am forever finding waterbottles on my desk in Angola with strange fluids in. Whether this is because the company cannot get the correct sample bottles delivered on time or the locals want to speed up the nationalisation process is another matter.

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