Can you enlighten me then please, who is Louis Tomlinson?
Apparently a singer in a band called One Direction. That rang a bell but don’t ask me about the music.
“Music”? 
Not Ricky’s dad then?
One Direction are big fans of me.
Dick Dale, “King of the Surf Guitar”, has died at the age of 81. Notable for such gems as this:
RIP Dick. I like this tune enough to forgive you for having inspired the Beach Boys.
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Very sad news…Scott Walker dies at 76…
This is very touching. David Bowie speechless after receiving a 50th birthday message from his idol. RIP Scott Walker, a very special voice indeed.
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RIP Scott.
I’ll be raising a packet of Ready Salted in your honour. 
You heartless bastard. Everyone knows he liked cheese and onion best.
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Make it cheesy on yourself, eh?
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RIP Rankin Roger from The Beat. Saw them about 2 years ago in Salisbury. Great night and his son was part of the band.
Great band, I’ve seen them a few times. I particularly loved Two Swords, and Mirror in the bathroom.
Please, please let Jonathan Ross do the eulogy 
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Only 51.
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Freddie Starr RIP. Found dead in his home in Spain.
Saw him in Bournemouth, so funny. Unless you are a Hamster
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Freddie Starr in historic gay sex allegations.
According to Clarkson.
He was a crazy bloke, not cool now but then to be fair fuck all is. RIP