Dear Saints

Dear Saints
0

#1

Hey, Happy Saint Valentine’s Day!

I still love you.

But why do you keep hurting me?

And don’t say I’m imagining it, for a year now you’ve gone out of your way to hurt me, every way that you can, even though I give you everything…

And before you give me the same old emotional blackmail shit - of course I was pleased to see Pompey lose to Blackburn but that doesn’t mean I love Rovers, that’s just a one night stand, it means nothing, that was just a cheap thrill with no strings attached.

But don’t give me bollocks about loyalty - you’ve not always been there for me, what about giving me the cold shoulder for the last few months of last season, it was like sleeping with a frigging ice block, so don’t give me that shit.

Anyway, here’s your card, it cost £2.49 - it took me the whole of January to buy it, and it will probably turn out to be a waste of fucking money.

We’ll have to see how it goes over the next couple of months but you need to decide what you want because this isn’t working for me at the moment.

You’ve changed.

Of course I’m not going to leave you - but life can be better than 90 minutes of clumsy fumbling, with no actual ending of any sort…

No, I don’t want to go to therapy, the last thing I want to do is discuss our shit in public - just paint a smile on, pretend everything is great and we’ll get through this.

Not now, I don’t want to talk about it anymore, I don’t need more promises, I want to see signs that you care - so just fucking leave it!

Enjoy your card, it’s got a kitten on it with heart-shaped eyes.

Well I didn’t know you’r allergic to cats!

What the fuck.

:frowning:


#2

Dear Rallyboy,

You spent years moaning that I never go down, and now I’m doing it, what do I get? Heartache.

I can’t win!

Love,

Saints FC


#3

Your previous offereing has been copied in full on Fiverweb RB. I suspect this one will be too. I would charge them if I were you!


#4

Rally Boy - you have exceeded yourself again.

We’ve all been jilted by the club…so many unfulfilled promises, so many lies.

Champions League aspirations, Championship reality.

Sold down the Swanee, drowning in meaningless slogans.

Betrayed by bullshit, let down by the Liebherr’s (in the end).

See you on the other side - bring your keyboard.


#5

Welcome Long Shot!

Like your eponymous username, are we going to see one post every 18 months?


#6

Welcome LS.


#7

Very good post, RB.

I’m a little more prosaic in my approach towards Valentine’s Day and am struggling to find a footballing metaphor for the special Valentine STW and facial that i associated with today.


#8

See you on the other side - bring your keyboard.

Is that an invitation to an internet suicide pact, or confirmation that when I get through this crisis we’ll make a synth album together?


#9

Supporting a football club: the only abusive relationship where you’re in the wrong if you leave.


#10

It’s the love that survives all others. It outlasts divorce, betrayal, it’s not you it’s me and the can’t-be-fucking bothered-anymore.

A toast to this love of the one and only SFC×

×I wish I was speaking for a friend.


#11

To my shame, I had to search what STW meant :lou_facepalm_2:


#12

Ffs.

Bear & RB in dramatic attempt to revive the 50 shades franchise


#13

Severn Trent Water…thought you knew. :lou_eyes_to_sky:


#14

I got sewage treatment works :lou_surprised: