🚴 🦼 Cyclists v Motorists v Pedestrians

Yesterday I was driving and happened across a guy cycling in a very aggressive manner.

He insisted on following the central white line of a wide country lane, causing a traffic jam, and arrogantly waving his hand at anyone who came within five metres of him.

He was clearly canvassing for trouble and looking to be the poor bullied cyclist victim.

This led me to think…

When on a bike I’m happy to share the road with motorists and if taking to an adjacent path eases traffic and makes me safer I will.

When driving I am happy to share the road with cyclists and I always give them space.

When on a town cycle path I am happy to share the space with pedestrians, within reason.

BUT I do have an issue with -

stupid motorists who think they own the road, dangerous cyclists who refuse to share space with others, and the bloody pedestrians who blindly waddle their fat arses and double buggies across cycle paths, often dragging their scabby dogs, shopping bags of shiny tat, and their ugly children with them.

Anyone else had issues like the above or is it just me saying for fucks sake people, share the space - you do not own any of it so stop acting like you do.


I don’t begrudge anyone the use of my space as long as they do it with consideration. Having said that I think ALL bike-riders should equip their bikes with a bell and a front wicker shopping basket…it would totally change their attitude.

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Only issues I have with cyclists are those that run red lights at pedestrian crossings. Had one guy come clattering into me shortly after my op last year and I was still on crutches. Left me on a heap on the floor and the cunt had the audacity to get pissy with me. Genuinely nearly cracked him in the face with one those stupid metal walking sticks. Only a matter of time before I clothesline one of these fuckers.


Aerodynamically the wicker baskets might make Le Tour a bit tougher…

I don’t mind sharing space with motorists, cyclists and pedestrians.

But I draw the line at scabby dogs and ugly children.

They should definitely be equipped with bells.

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There are a couple of interesting transport stories in the news today; not really worth starting a new thread over.

Owen Jones reveals that since privatisation, bus journeys have halved from 2bn to 1bn. Mostly dreadful outside the capital.

Inside the capital, the government has just given backing for TfL to take over some of the overground rail franchises when they expire.

I’ve run down a motorcyclist, but never managed to get a pedal bike bro. I did cut one off once & he got v.angry, and was pedalling after me furiously, waving his fist, but I got away v.easily cos he was on a pedal bike, and I was in a car.


I ride my bike in Swinley Forest, Bracknell, which is huge and is 95% for walkers, kids, joggers, dog walkers etc with miles and miles of forest roads or special rambling paths through the trees. The last 5% are MTB trails which are clearly marked, one way and have signs warning people to keep off. They are actually hard to find on foot, being in distant and sometimes dense parts of the forest. All works well this sharing space lark, at least usually.

A few weeks back I came hurtling around a corner to see a family with a toddler walking on the bike trail, the wrong way, towards me. This was in a thick wooded area, not ideal for taking in any views BTW. Luckily my bike has very good brakes and I just stopped. The father looked at me, did not move, and said “mate, maybe you should slow down a bit?” I lost it and shouted that if he wanted to kill the kid, then keep on walking on the bike-only trails, the wrong way and there would be other bikes, many faster than me, along very soon, if he could just make sure the cyclist does not get hurt too. :rage:

There is no stopping fuckwits.

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Jesus shit, that’s bloody dangerous! You could have gone over the handle bars braking too fast!

To be fair, he probably had no idea where he was, but none the less, just the thought scares me!


Originally posted by @Halo-Stickman

But I draw the line at ugly children.

Worryingly close to Oscar Wilde’s defence there, Halo.



Originally posted by @Rallyboy

Yesterday I was driving and happened across a guy cycling in a very aggressive manner.

He insisted on following the central white line of a wide country lane, causing a traffic jam, and arrogantly waving his hand at anyone who came within five metres of him.

He was clearly canvassing for trouble and looking to be the poor bullied cyclist victim.

I would have made sure I was right behind him, dialled 999 on my handsfree, wound the window down and very loudly told the police that some bloke was deliberately causing an obstruction with his bicycle and cycling without any due care or attention.

If that didn’t work I would suggest that his behaviour was likely to cause a breach of the peace and possibly longer traffic jams as they’d have to scrape his dead body off of the road.

If that failed I would have called the cyclist a faggot, the police would then arrive swift as anything to do me for a hate crime!

But seriously what a tosser!!

How does one dial 999 hands free?

Does one shout “Nein! Nein! Nein!”?

What if the operator gets the wrong end of the stick and assumes you’re presently the hostage of a mistress in a German dungeon?


Gay’s guide to peace and understanding between cyclists and drivers

Here Gay Abando answers some of those cliched questions that we hear so often and seem to be the cause of much vexation between these humble road users. Read and acknowledge and all will be well on the roads.

1. 'Cyclists jumping red lights’

Yep, complete and utter cocks - no excuses… BUT its a tiny minority of usually those ‘Urban’ cycling twats and couriers who seem hell bent on allowing natural selection to slowly remove them from the gene pool - stupid daft fuckers. Drivers should however recognise these as a minority and not go on and on and on as if all cyclists do this. They dont so STFU drivers

2. 'Roads are for cars as cyclists dont pay road tax’

er…NO. Public roads with the exception of motorways are for the use of all …‘road users’. Drivers of vehicles do NOT pay road tax either. They pay a Duty based on the level of emissions of their vehicle and many now qualify for zero VED as do cyclists.

Cyclists can have lots of fun by pointing this out to drivers who do not understnd this simple concept because they are thick fuckers

3. 'Cyclists should ride in single file.'

The Highway code allows cyclist to ride two abreast. AND it is SAFER to do so as it prevents cars from overtaking where it is NOT safe to do so, typically when there are vehicles coming the other way - one of the biggest causes of injury and death is cars overtaking cyclists and having to pull in sharply to avoid oncomming traffic and clipping bikes… drivers risking lives of others to save maybe a few seconds i travel time… sorry, no excuse for this COMPLETE and utter CUNTS. Give cyclists room and only overtake as if it were a car. You will win loads of cycling friends as cyclists dont hate drivers, just those that drive like stupid cunts.

4. Cyclists should pull over and ride close to the curb

In an ideal world… yes. But 2 problems with this. 1) the amount of rubble, litter and grit, glass and other shite washed towards the curb, makes it impossible to ride there - often dangerous. 2) it encourages drivers to actlike cunts as in point no. 3 and overtake when there is on comiing traffic, effecively squeezing the cyclist into the gutter…

This does not excuse cyclists riding in the middle of the road like drunk fuckers - thisi s not only against the highway code, but stupid and these cyclists should be given a hard punch on the nose and have their bikes crushed.They are actng like twats.

5. Cyclists - Dont ride on the pavement

Makes you look a ignornat fuccker and its dangerous to pedestrians

6. Know your hand signals

Common courtesy goes a long way. Giving right of way should be rewarded with a smile and a wave - especially to attractive drivers and lady cyclists in lycra.

The tradditional ‘wanker’ gesture can be applied liberally for those that fail to observe points 1 to 5.

Finally - ultimately if you are in car you are protected by a steel cage. Cyclists are not. Hitting a cyclist at even 30mph with a steel cage is likely to kill them and leave the driver and car unharmed. Whilst cyclists should observe the rules and regulations and common courtesy, the onus must be on those who have the potential to cause the most damage to be more carefull. A recent death of a local cyclist was caused by a woman on her phone who was simply ignoring the road. She drove into the back of him at 60mph and knocked him into a tree. She later tried deleting her phone records to try and avoid this being discovered claiming the cyclist ‘came out of nowhere’… phone records showed otherwise… yet she only got 2 years for this killing and perverting the cause of justice and will be out in 6 months… is it any wonder that there is so much distrust between the two groups when the cars can and frequently kill? Yes there are a minority of riders that are twats who break the rules, but they only really cause irritation and maybe a few minutes travel delay. The minority that do so in a car often kill.


Don’t worry, Bletch, I always use the scabby dog defence.


And to add to @Gay Abandon

7. Cyclists *MUST* use cycle paths when they’re there

Err no the Highway code is quite clear on this :-

Rule 61

Cycle Routes and Other Facilities. Use cycle routes, advanced stop lines, cycle boxes and toucan crossings unless at the time it is unsafe to do so. Use of these facilities is not compulsory and will depend on your experience and skills, but they can make your journey safer.

So the twat that nearly cause me to crash by honking his horn as he was overtaking me and yelling at me to use the Cycle Track was clearly in the wrong, as I pointed out to him when he was stuck in traffic and I was using the other Cycle Track on the other side of the roundabout.

For information the first cycle track is down a shared pavemnet and down a hill and is frequently broken by side roads, therefore it is easier to use the road and as the road is wide enough overtaking me on my bike is not a problem!


My ex-girlfriend hit a motorcyclist on Queensway once.

It was pretty hard to miss him as he had a bright orange boilersuit on.

I didn’t help the situation by saying “we’ve been tangoed” as he rolled across the bonnet of the Austin 1100.


All very valid @GayAbandon and well said.

But if only you and all other cyclists woke up and smelt the coffee, stopped riding on roads, or anywhere near them, and joined me in the pursuit of off road pleasure. All I have to contend with are lost walkers (much softer to hit than cars), wandering dogs off the lead (very hard to hit, but fun trying) and snooty-as-fuck horse riders complaining about ME causing lots of damage to the forest / field / hill whatever. I am trying to figure out how to mount a shotgun on the handlebars.


Bucksdear boy, waaay ahead of you. This Gaybro has 3 bikes

  1. The Daily ride - Winter/badweather roadie - Merida scultura Ultegra running 28mm tyres in winter 25mm in summer

  2. The Special date - Summer good weather - Trek Madone Dura Ace and Fast forward carbon wheels :lou_lol:

3. The Dirty weekend - my refurbished 1996 Kona explosiv retro darling - fitted with 1997 XTR/XT and 1998 Manitou SX Ti Spring oil damped forks and hand build mavic 517s on Chris King hubs… she may be getting on a bit now, but like a good women, just gets better (and naughtier) with age :lou_is_a_flirt:

I think you’ll find it’s an offence to drive an Austin 1100…you were definitely in the wrong.

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Do the caprine ones respond to orange in the same way that bovine ones response to red?