Claude Puel Interviews & Press Conferences

No-one wants to listen to these. Someone has to.

Here is rules:

  1. Everyone has to listen to one! All the way through! And tell us what he says. I’m going first!

  2. You have to do one Puel answer in full, precise transcript, thereafter summary is fine. Life is too short srs.

  3. At the end, you have to nominate which poster is up next to listen to a Puel Interview!

Claude Puel Press Conference 17/08/16: Man Utd Away

Puel starts with a Joke. It goes like this, “In French maybe haha.” It doesn’t go down well. Tough crowd.

Team news: Bert Rand is not playing. He’s injured. Not trained all week.

Journo ask about implications of Friday night football:

Originally mumbled by Claude Puel

Um I think ummm it’s normal for, for, for, for me. Paris is different (?) uhh in, in, in England uhhh is difficult for err for us for example to in France to, to play, er, on Monday erm 12 o’clock errr in a, in a, er, on the, on the, errr, on the, on the day, err, but to play on Friday err, no it’s not a p- it’s not a problem perhaps for the player cos it’s the first time err it’s a good opportunity err for the players for Southampton err to play the, the, the first game of the day and, and to, to, to show erm I hope good things err on the ground.

Journo implies that he has friends, and normally likes to go boozing on a Friday night. Puel couldn’t be less interested

No problem with Jose. Thinks it’s “strange” that the rumour pops up just before Man Utd game (sardonic). Makes positive mumbles about Jose playing Friday (gr8 news!)

Puel took Lille to Man Utd in 2007. Didn’t go well. Robbed by shit ref (natch).

Loads of boring guff about Man Utd and Pogba. No-one care.

Southampton are on a winning streak vs Man Utd. Puel doesn’t care. Irrelevant.

Puel wants Saints to show good concentration, like Second half vs Watford.

Boring guff about Zlatan. No-one cares.

More boring guff about Man Utd and Pogba. No-one cares.

Puel finds training Southampton to be “interesting”. And thinks we’re improving all the time.

Boring guff about Martial. No-one cares.




In the protracted absence of Bletch (minutes??) I would like to pose the question. Who the fuck let in the MU supporters club to quiz our manager about what he thought of assorted MU players?

Clod must get up to speed with coloquial English terms like, “Why are you asking me about MU players you dozy fuck!”


I’m jumping in…

I tried but kept falling asleep. Not sure if it was the boredom or a 4 pack while sitting in the sun this arvo…

Probably the boring interview, maybe…

Reminds me of the Father Ted in the lingerie shop -

that’ll be me Ted, I have a very boring dreary voice…

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I’ve been trying without much success, to muster up a bit of enthusiasm to watch it but I don’t need to now … nice one Bear

Excellent synopsis Bearsy, exactly what I heard…

(btw, being a somewhat large, hirsuit person, to avoid scaring the shit out if my grandkids, daughter decided, about 5yrs back now, that I should be called Grandad Bear. This has been continued by t’other daughter and her sprog. So far, 1 x ok, 1 x scared shitless everytime I turn up, 1 x too young but defo gives me a cautious stare)

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Nearly down voted for presumptuously thinking I have time to do this sort of thing.

I’m on vay kay as the septics say. I’m currently in a pub on the English riviera (Corfe Castle) and am driving to Leamington Spa (Royal) tomorrow where I will continue my vay kay with the mother in law.

When is Claude’s next press conference?

If I’m around it might make nice distraction from pretending to listen to the mother in law.

'twas new level dull Bear. Claude looked like he’d rather be going at his pubes with a pair of tweezers than sit there in front of the media.

Not helped by the 98.7% focus on all things Man Utd.

Let’s hope we outplay and convincingly beat them now so that we can look forward to the post match analysis of ‘where it all went wrong for utd’. Then, right at the end just as the host thanks his guests or being cunts, we will get the token ‘but we shouldn’t take anything away from Southafmpton’ guff… Then again, even that might be better than listening to Claude!

I just hope that his prematch and halftime team talks are not done in the same fashion.

Looking at last saturdays match he gave the pre match talk and delegated it to the coaching staff at half time.


When It is my turn, I will have my secretary do it and post it on my blog.

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That reminds me, I had her transcribe the Les Reed interview from last May, but I was out of town and then too busy to fix it up. By the time I had time, it was way out of date. Should I post it anyway with no corrections-just as my secretary understood Les Reed’s exotic English accent?

Don’t answer here, I will do a poll.

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Clod in expansive mood this morning in his interview for BBC Radio Solent on Friday’s game…

Unfortunately the interview was conducted infront of an air conditioning unit…on a hot day. :lou_eyes_to_sky:

It was followed up with an interview with Usain Bolt who was apparently…speaking in tongues*

*Can I say that before the water-shed?

I have a hunch that you/she won’t have to wait too long.

Here you go…do this

I had to stop watching

I find this a little worrying

it’s not the first time one of our players had talked about “trying” to adapt and not finding it easy.

Claude is currently incoherently mumbling live. Once I’ve got a YouTube link that I can rewind countless times to hear what he’s saying, I’ll post my summary.

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Adam Blackmore@ bigadamsport 6m6 minutes ago

Claude Puel not willing to talk specifically about Boufal but did say club hoping to sign one or two players in next few days # saintsfc

Some high-level takeaways

I’m warming to him a little.

He noticeably relaxed once the Boufal and Fonte questions were out the way. His speech improved and he stuttered less.

He tried to crack a few jokes that were a little lost in translation.

Favourite phrases used today.

Window Mercato - Transfer window



Next week we need to a bingo game to count how many times will he say the words important or interesting (Not including stammers and restarted sentences).

OK. The transcribed question…Oh holy fuck he’s hard work.

Journo: Injuries - first of all - Is Bertrand Fit to Play?

Ahum. We will see ahh tomorrow eef er Bertran can uh come here. He signed er, ze squad. Errm. He come back er zis week with er twitch training session with er his parterners…And we will see ah he can participate err for zis game er for the nes with the necks game er with his parterners.

Journo: Supplemental…because it’s the final match before the international break it may be wise to wait until after then?

Ahhummm. Ze important is er heah heum he must umm he must come back with urr a good condition er er a good physical lovel er we will see er if un he can parce participate for for for zis um game sixty two or no. I ah I ah I don’t know ze zethe most important is to se ahh ryan at a training session wher resuss zis is very very important. After ah for ze ah International ah games is other things. But it’s important for ze ze squad to to to see to see Ryan ah on ze pitch.

Other notable stuff…

Romeu will be back.

What needs to change after Sunderland?
Disappointing with many chances. 15 chances for us 8 for them and we lost 2-0. Stuff to work on. This is normal at the beginning. He needs time between the learning and the application on the pitch. We can see progress but we’re not there yet. We need belief.

Frazer Forster - How good is he and is he read to be England #1?
Very good and mature. National team won’t be a problem.

Coco Martina - Is he offski?
We will see when the windows shuts. We might see movements in and out. We don’t know where he will end up. Cuco might be better off leaving to get a longer contract elsewhere. We should have cover with Cedric and Pied - but we will get injuries so he might stay. THINK he said it’s the club’s choice.

Jay Rod - Two clubs are interested. Would you be prepared to loan him?
We will see in the next days. Claude likes him. A question that needs to be answered is if he would be better to play regularly somewhere else or as a sub with is. He has great qualities but needs confidence and fitness. Seems to be Jay’s choice. Claude doesn’t understand the supplemental so translator helps. Says the same thing again but says he wants Jay to be happy.

Fonte - Are we willing to let him go? Are we offering a new contract?
Jose is concentrating on his football. Talks as if it’s a done deal - he’s staying - without actually saying that. Great obfuscation by Claude. He’s a genius at simultaneously sounding completely baffled and baffling.

Fonte - Would fans understand if Fonte wanted to go - given his loyalty and age?
Jose is important for the fans - they like him. He’s important. His work here is not finished. It’s very important to keep him. He had a good discussion with the Director and the Chairman and all is OK. The fans can be happy because Jose is staying.

Fonte - Was he told he is going nowhere?
We listened and gave him time to speak and now it’s time to play. Sounds like he’s asked to go but told he is not.

Taking players from top teams is easy, but what about taking players from lower teams in France. What challenges do they face?
Journo is edging around the Boufal question. Claude says many French players lack the experience and maturity to play in the Prem. There are lots of young players in Ligue 1. He sees Ligue 1 as a big academy for the Prem. Technique isn’t the problem, it’s more physical and tactical.

Is it a risk to take a lower level player?
Jouno still plugging away at the Boufal question. It’s always a risk. It’s different. Claude laughs because it’s clear the journo is asking about Boufal. He says that Boufal isn’t our player yet - perhaps in the ‘next days’

What’s more important - 3 points or the team understanding his methods?
Both. Points for confidence now, methods for the future.

You’ve had success in France. Are you sure this formation will work in the Prem?
I hope. Important that the players are rewarded for their effort. In the first two games we haven’t had the results we deserve. We’re doing well.

OK, next week’s presser will be transcribed by Redslo (Attourney at Law)'s Secretary.


tks Beltch. Did they srs not ask any questions about Man Utd? Weird.


If we are playing Claude Pressa Bingo I am having