Career advice

To be honest that doesn’t sound like the same kind of Business Analyst - what do McKinsey do?

A Junior BA is a very simple role, and essentially is a role where you learn on the job. On that link to CW Jobs above, what is it that you don’t think you can do?

Who said I was?

LET THE PISSING CONTEST COMMENCE!

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I made £281m for my clients.

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This forum seems to have gently turned into some LinkedIn Networking business luncheon club version of the Masons…and not in a good way.

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I made £281m for my clients and I can suck myself off.

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Impressive stuff, Cherts :lou_lol:

I merely write the damn things :lou_sunglasses:

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Pissing contests I am good at

I earnt our clients 150 mil since June so yearly projections will be around 360 mil and that is if oil stays at $50 bucks a barrel. :lou_lol:

I can swim the length of a 25 metre pool entirely underwater without taking a breath. (And that’s with me being a smoker)

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I did a 97 second wee this morning, even flow, no stoppages. Beat that muthafuckas :lou_sunglasses:

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I’m inviting the deputy mayor to our annual charity gala dinner and networking event that includes a stripper, a comedian from 1978 and a meat draw, who would like to run the tombola?

Sideburns optional.

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Lord D will be there. Slapping the arse of some young filly and laughing loudly about golliwogs. I suspect.

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Has the comedian done time? and if there is any money to be made from it I will run ther Tombola all proceeds less expenses to the Goats Charity :lou_lol:

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I had deducted £32m from earnings (leaving me with £281) already for playing plebs to suck me off. So I win.

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I’ve struggled with that post.

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Originally posted by @Fatso

I’ve struggled with that post.

Not one of your best tbh…

I work as a Mod on a forum full of shallow, bragging twats.

I also get paid £32m to suck off one of the member’s members.

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It was an example of some of the projects you can work on - as Mr T had never even heard of the role. Wasn’t meant to be showing off, but meh, who cares what internet warriors on an Internet Forum think!

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I care less than Chertsey.

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“Candidates MUST have a good understanding of user story creation and attention to detail, excellent communication skills, must be logical with the ability to work independently and autonomously and have experience developing mockups/design briefs.”

"-Understanding of the SDLC

-Understanding of User story creation

-Agile experience

-Understanding of wireframes using standard tools

-Understanding mock-ups/design briefs

-Ideally have experience working in high-volume distributed E-commerce environments"

I’ve never done this sort of thing before Cherts and whilst yes, I could probably learn on the job, I can’t see how there wouldn’t be several candidates well ahead of me in the pecking order. Nevertheless I’ll take your advice and give it a good go and will definitely do some proper research. There’s just one more accountancy firm I want to get my application in with first.

I’ve managed to pass the tests for KPMG btw - the next step is to record a 90-120 second audio file of yourself talking about how wonderful you are and how great KPMG are etc. If you make it through that you’re through to their ‘Launchpad’ event - which is basically a long assessment day. Pass that and you’ve got the job. Long way to go, but nice to have the validation of passing the tests at least.

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