Beelzebub's Official Match thread: Klopp's Nivia 'softlads' vs The Mighty Demons of Southampton

Beelzebub's Official Match thread: Klopp's Nivia 'softlads' vs The Mighty Demons of Southampton
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#1

As I have yet to be sacked second time, here it is. The big one. Reminding me of my greatest battles, from getting that daft cow to ‘eat my apple’ :lou_wink_2: back in the big G’s garden during my first season, to possessing a young lady called Margaret who did great things in my name, great things… (although to be fair she seemed rather accommodating and ‘pleased to see me’) this match once again pits good versus evil. Having said that some of my best works was in convincing them to part with 20mil for that heap of shit in defence… but I dont like to brag…

Klopp has the look of a scruffy Jesus in a cheap community theatre production of ‘that story’ crossed with a piss smelling wino, although he likes death metal so cant be all bad… but its the sense of entitlement to greatness that makes me want to smite the the Nivia encrusted little fuckers.

Sadly, several of the best demons, suffered blows this week… when denied the chance to participate in FIFA’s own statanic ritual in one of my favourite countries (easy pickings) next summer, so they might need a little ‘divine’ intervention… :lou_lol: (another great gag,no?)

I suspect Kloppy will be more ‘Son of God’ this week than pissed up wino, so we may struggle…

sadly my prediction in this battle is …

2-0


#2

Ah, so my hints finally worked then :lou_lol:


#3

Will the drunken death metal freak even be there?


#4

Is Mane injured again? If so I see a ground out 1-0 to Liverpool.

If not 8-2 to Liverpool

In no futures do I see Southampton getting anything.


#5

And no sooner do I ask than…


#6

Is Ben Dinnery his real name?


#7

We will lose. Probably 3-0 but could be 4.


#8

0-0!


#9

Fucking happy clapper


#10

Burying your head in the sand again I see…


#11

1:2

Lovren to score ours if playing


#12

It is not going to be fun. Not like the semi final anyway!

Anywhere from 2/3/4 - 1. If we cannot score against this lot we should give up now!


#13

Mane will be missing. Either the game, or our net. Or both. Sorted.

0-1


#14

Just read that Pellegrino wants us to carry on playing as we have been. I guess that means we wont score and will at best draw 0-0. Or am I being too harsh?


#15

You may say I’m a dreamer…


#16

…but you’re not the only one.

0 - 0 for me too.


#17

Surely, surely it must have been a misquote, surely, please


#18

If Mane is carrying a minor hamstring problem I’m all for him starting - and sprinting as fast as he can, as soon as possible.


#19

Whilst warming up would be ideal.

1-2 Boufal special and a header for the winner(VVD would be funny, just to annoy them, but i think Agustín).


#20

:lou_surprised: I know Tin Man has a record of scoring at Anfield…but didn’t he retire some time ago??