Where did you get my picture from???
I’ve been compared with Ken Bruce, John McEnroe and Leonard Rossiter, but don’t recall the Selwyn Froggatt thing.
Anyway, mock me for all you like. I’ve got a week with no wifi or phone signal.
See you on the other side.
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Mock you
Oh yes Dara O’Brian from Mock the week is the spittting of you 
Too much Rab C Nesbitt
Not enough questions!
Yes.
Why is my Dinner running late?
Because you are a cannibal and they are giving you the cold shoulder
Why does Plex keep buffering on the TV in the front room when it is on the same network as my Plex server?
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Did you type google into google?
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FML
Is it true that each cloud contains pennies from heaven?
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If that’s true the cost of living crisis this summer is a lie 
False
Only thing you’ll find in the clouds is the hand of God
Actually, there’s a pretty good chance. Men of a certain age tend to be quite generic in appearance. That’s why I insist baldies in my party wear hats at Glasto.
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you mean this
I still have a full head of hair
Not really sure why I started talking about the hand of god when I’m an atheist.
How are the Atheis doing this season?
I’m sure we are all familiar with Gwyneth Paltrow’s marketing of her famous and extremely expensive scented candles, i see she is now marketing an extremely expensive loaf of bread which costs $22 a loaf. The main selling point for the scented candles is that they smell like the fragrant Ms Paltrow’s minge. Does this apply to the loaves of bread as well? Asking for a friend.
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