This is the first time in Sotonians history we’ve had two social events running in parallel. Impressive. I think Ant has promised himself at each!
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Ant is like the electron, Lou.
He can be in two places at the same time - as long as his voltage levels aren’t the same.
Shame the real men can’t be at your going away do, Lou, but men that can, do. Men that can’t, buy a season ticket - or go in goal.
Personally, if I was at your going away party I’d only make a fool of myself by getting drunk and emotional - if we lost, but if we were to win, I’d cheer and say thank fuck she’s gone, get the tit pics out boys!
Hope Bucks brings his Mates.
When you get back, Ohio will be a Mod’.
Have a good time stateside and send us a postcard, y’hear?
x
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Aw, love you, Bletch! I would be over the moon if there as a revolution on here by the time I got back. But then, that’s probably just the weathervane in me.
xxx
Originally posted by @saintbletch
Hope Bucks brings his Mates.
I am certainly packing a packet.
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No walk on subs? Wha…
I trust you’ll be packing a spare lung with those bibs? I have a feeling that occasions such as this may just require 2 of those things!?
Oh sod it, we’ll be fine… Ant has still got to run all the way round my belly, which will slow him down sooner or later and if Lee tries to run past me, I’ll just pull his bandana down over his eyes! Lol
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That must be uncomfortable and you are going to have all sorts of trouble when you get scanned at Heathrow tomorrow.
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Haha! I wish I could do both. But alas, my attendance at tonight’s match was never more than fanciful.
Having just drunk a can of Rockstar to get me through the afternoon, it remains to be seen whether I’ll be tearing up the sports hall tonight or slumped in the corner snoozing…
(I’d probably still outpace Bletch 
)
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…and Carlsberg is probably the best beer in the world, right?
I haven’t shown you top gear yet, ant.
You wouldn’t live with me if and when I hit that.
Problem is that I need a 3/4 mile run-up and a time-machine.
OK, any excuse relied upon tomorrow for your performance tonight needs to be declared on this thread BEFORE the game.
Obviously, Jamie and his Magic Lung has a deficit in the lung department - to the tune of one.
ant is going to be off his face - as per.
I’ve got the mother and father of blisters on the balls of my feet.
What have I missed…?
P.S. “Teacher Mick v The Raleighboy Tranche Trois” has been postponed as Teacher Mick is having his elbows sharpened.
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I’m sure as a good manager you’ll avoid the obviously going to end in tears scenario with shrewd team selection in future weeks!
That aside, my advance excuses are mainly -
I played last night
some nagging vague injury
age
lack of fitness
no subs
I haven’t patented these, feel free to mix’n’match for your own use.
Ask Mrs Bletch and Jilly Bowel and they’ll confirm that the last time I could do it twice in two days, I wore a younger man’s clothes.
Are you suggesting that you and Teacher Mick go on the same side. It’ll end in tears.
Ok. Looks like we are now only 9.
That’s shit, but it’s the boss’ husband so I’ll have to suck it up!
Anyone?
One of my guys has had computer issues, not sure what his plan is yet…
So, tonights run-down:
Both teams short-handed for a while.
Everyone knackered.
Several injuries. (Serves us right for being old and thinking we can play football).
OptMarcus Prime let the teams down by not showing up - Bletch will bollock the boss in the morning. LMAO!
New goalie guy did good.
Someone needs to remind Ant to pick his car up in the morning - he ran home afterwards as he didn’t get enough excercise!
After my coughing fit, I finally found my nuts again. They’re back in place ready for Paul and Ant to destroy again next week.
Everyone gets 10/10 for “participation”. (Except Marcus, he gets “bum wraps” next week).
Did I forget anything?
Oh shit… yes I did…
Bletch is meant to do the post match roundup… ignore this.
OVER TO BLETCH IN OUR STUDIO…
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Well, I’ll post a more fulsome review later, but I should just say that even when pissed, ant still had me in his pocket all night.
Bastard.
More to follow…
Oh, and The Raleighboy exhibited the best first touch and shot I’ve seen for some time…
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I enjoyed that! 
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Ah, well I did sort of get my just desserts. Have a carpet burn on the palm of my left hand and a nice dent where my right kneecap used to be (from when I tried to ‘Lallana’ away from the wall with multiple Cruyff turns, only to be flattened). 
Carpet burn? Bless.
I have now shed blood two weeks out of three.
But it’s not every match that you get to dance to the Gap Band and rub a grown man’s calf while the ball is still in play.
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Believe me, I am forever in your debt.
For those that didn’t see the liaison between The RaleighBoy and The Flyd Cat, I managed to get this off the cctv system.
