Looking forward to getting back on this next week. Might have slightly over-exerted myself last time with the gig as well - it took a good 2 and a half days for all muscles to feel normal again!
I promise you lot will have my full attention on Tuesday. 
Yep, I could tell you weren’t fully on it, ant.
There was that one time when you stopped running for an entire second. I remember contrasting that with The Flyd Cat’s performance who seemed to stop running for the entire second half.
Actually, I’ve just realised that it’s me that hands out the bibs - expect you and me to be bibs this week, ant.
We can do each other’s running if we’re struggling to get back after running for the glory.
Ok, numbers are tight for this one. A few injuries and time clashes have dwindled our banned (sic) of brothers.
Could be 10 or could be 13.
10 might give some of us more cardiovascularly challenged a bit of a problem, as it’ll make taking a break a bit more difficult.
I’ve even drafted in Javier who is THE best barista in Eastleigh (other than my daughter).
Plus yoga has left my hamstrings (and other ligaments and muscles I didn’t even know I had) very tender.
Got to try to stretch without snapping. Any tips?
I’d just stretch to the point of tightness, morning and night. Should become easier each time and (to my mind) there’s little risk of further damage if you’re not pushing it. This isn’t based on any medical knowledge, but has served me well with hamstring injuries in the past.
Also resist temptation and stay mobile!
Lubrication.
Will try.
Problem is, I’m in a weekend-warrior challenge on FitBit with a bigoted, rugby-mad, ultra-competitive Welshman called Carlos.
And his taunt to me this morning was “Keep moving fatboy”.
I’m 2K steps ahead of him at the moment, but if I do resist the temptation to do something, the smug valley-boy wins.
This weekend-warrior challenge transcends friendships, it transcends keep-fit, it transcends step-counting.
It’s Wales versus England. It’s Rugby versus Football. It’s Carlos versus Bletch.
So I either resist temptation to exercise, lose the weekend warrior challenge and cede victory to the Welsh, or uphold our nation’s honour (and that of fatboys everywhere) and risk not playing a full role on Tuesday.
Quandry, ant. Quandry.
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @saintbletch
Ok, numbers are tight for this one. A few injuries and time clashes have dwindled our banned (sic) of brothers.
Could be 10 or could be 13.
10 might give some of us more cardiovascularly challenged a bit of a problem, as it’ll make taking a break a bit more difficult.
I’ve even drafted in Javier who is THE best barista in Eastleigh (other than my daughter).
Plus yoga has left my hamstrings (and other ligaments and muscles I didn’t even know I had) very tender.
Got to try to stretch without snapping. Any tips?
Lubrication.
As usual, Goatster, great advice.
Mrs Bletch has already given me a rubdown with Castrol GTX (as per) and whilst it did distract me for a while, it didn’t help the hammies.
Wait… What?! Are we talking two definitions of ‘mobile’ here? One pithy, the other plain wrong? Keep moving, man!
The best barista in Eastleigh (other than my daughter) sends his apologies, so we appear to be 11 or 5 v 5 with one rolling sub.
My right hamstring, left buttock and one of the muscles in my left quad are forming a trio that is tighter than The Jam in their hay day.
Oh, and with the failure of the many different electronic ways that I’ve tried to organise this, I have no real idea where we stand on numbers.
But I can confirm that a _ Rachel _ will be there???
Fucking google. I’m only Rachel at the weekends.
Good work bletch. Enjoyed this.
First time I have played for a loooonggg time but good to know that I am still a cross between Jan Molby and Jack Wilshere.
Unfortunately I have Molby’s pace and Wilshere’s ankles.
Yeah it was a good workout, and a vital support network for Fatclub.
Was there in spirit. I could hear Bletch huffin’ and a puffin, Rallyboy moaning like a the ‘star’ of a cheap russian porno whilst being ‘made love to’ in 2/3 orifices… and Ant getting frustrated that none of you can keep up… but good effort nonetheless!
**FatClub ChubSTARs AFC **
Founded 2016
‘‘Simus pinguis conamur’’
That is a disturbing image that you have created for your own entertainment…
OK, don’t have time for a full match report, but some highlights.
It was bibs versus skins. Starting teams were:
Bibs
Bletcherinho (Started as rolling-sub)
Teacher Mick
Goatster
Marcus the boss’ husband
Jamie and his magic lung
Snapper Paul
Skins
The RaleighBoy
The Flyd Cat
Bandanarama Leigh
Ever-Ready Antony
Chumpster James
Player Ratings
Nice to see Goatster and his four cloven hooves turn out for The Old Blokes’ Kick-about. Impressed by his touch to be honest - having been out of the game for so long. Shame that he damaged one of his rear ankles. He’s still pretty good in the air, though…
Towards the end of the game, he was pulling the strings at the heart of some pretty slick, one-touch moves. Ankle permitting, he’s coming back. He’s been given compassionate leave to attend a funeral in North London next week, so we’ll see him after the Arsenal game.
10/10
The RaleighBoy renewed his game-long battle with teacher Mick, and his readiness to go down reminded us all of a totally committed work-a-day, porn-star. That battle with Mick will end in tears at some point - but not before The RaleighBoy has gone down on all of us. He scored 4 or 5, and was responsible for the driest or driest one-liners all night. After I had swung my left wildly at a pass and hit it over head-height, The RaleighBoy looked at me, looked down at the indoor, carpeted pitch and said, “That’s the problem with pitches at this time of the year - they really start to cut up!”.
Cunt.
10/10
Jamie and his magic lung had a good game. He managed to coax his tar-lined chest through 75 minutes and played some wonderful passes with me (I tend to make others look good). Scored more than a few too.
10/10
The Flyd Cat had an excellent 50 mins (for Skins*) - we actually played 75mins last night, but then it went all testimonial on him - as his Skins tired and the mighty Bibs made The Flyd Cat look like one of the Woodtops on the day that their puppeteer had a particularly severe epileptic episode.
10/10
ant ran.
He never tackled me in an embarrassing one-to-one, and I never tried and failed to knock the ball off the boards to sprint past him. If he tells you that either of these two things happens, he’s a liar. Probably.
10/10
Supporting cast. Well, some non-Sotonians turned up too. They played. They paid. Meh! They’ll have to join up here if they want a proper review.
Afterwards in the bar, we all agreed that we better start keeping score.
* Yes, I know.
Skins… all a bit homoerotic is it not Bletch?
Not really, Gay.
Well, at least it wasn’t until we formed the post-match, celebratory circle-jerk.
That game sounds vaguely familiar, I think it might have been the one I attended…
Two games in two days is a step too far - I’m stiffer than Avram Grant on a Horton Heath industrial estate.
Originally posted by @saintbletch
ant ran.
The only words in ‘my’ review that are primarily about me. Ego-tits!
Akin to saying “Charlie Austin breathed” about his weekend heroics. 