Is that before or after the LSD?
It will have to be speed - half this shit goes on at 2am
Where is it?
Valencia - it the Fallas festival - the spend months making these effergies, put them up on Thursday vote which is the best and then burn them
Throw in fuck ton of fireworks at all hours of the day, parades and bands and that’s the basic premise
Have a new bucket list item
I have been watching the full swing series on Netflix
I want to go to the 16th hole at the Phoenix open
It’s where a football fan zone meets golf
Leaving Viet Hai Village (population 100) and heading to Hanoi (population 10 million). Nearly home time


Should that canoe be sticking up so much?
Going to take a fucking long time to paddle home.
Yeah, now Matt will say it’s the lifejacket that’s making him look “broad” but just look at those chubby chops. The jury is out, but things are stacking up against the defendant.
I’m saying nowt.
So it turns out that the Valencians use fireworks to babysit their kids while they get twatted
Which means that at any given minute a three foot terrorist will let off a firecracker within two foot of where you are standing
It is a racing certainty that I will shat myself at some point this weekend
Family groups are wandering around - each kid has a wooden box hanging from their neck stuffed full of ordinance
From time to time they grab the lit cigarette dangling from the corner of the granddads mouth, select their explosive, ignite and then lob it into the street
A weekend in Mariupol would have been more peaceful
Currently sat on our balcony whilst three bands have a drum off
Did you say you were in Liverpool?
Have just been told I’m going to Becici in Montenegro at the end of August for Fam C_S summer break. Anyone been? Any ideas of shit to do?
I believe (know) I’m paying for it as well.
Cue Phil touting for business…
Ah LOT airlines flight to Montenegro via 3 day stop over in Krakow and obligatory tour of somewhere…?
0.5% discount if you bring sausage rolls & Lincolnshire sausages
I can recommend Kotor as I spent part of 2019 hols there. Great time, food very good, people friendly. Flew into Podgorica the capital, flew back to Gatwick from Tivat.