Nigella Lawson’s recipe of the day today was bitter orange tart. 
Isn’t that a Fanny Craddock recipe?
Next recipe is beef curtains.
I think the term “spatchcock” is appropriate
That was a classic, the stuff of legend and it really did happen. Fanny and Johnny Cradock were probably the first celebrity chefs, fifty odd years ago. They were cooking doughnuts, and Johnny turned to the camera and uttered the immortal words, “And if you follow the recipe, all your doughnuts will look like fanny’s”.
Only by Jesus standards, init.
Probably not. There’s some evidence Jesus was born in 4BC.
That’s, partly, why it’s been changed to CE (common era) and BCE (before common era)…
Ah…CALLING BAZZA TO THE MAIN BOARD! 
Please. The BAZZA 2.0 Anti-Anything-Non-Cressington virus is virulent enough. You’re going out there and licking it!
Police are looking for a bloke who attacked six people with a knitting needle…
They said it appears he’s following some sort of pattern
A couple of my mates are having a joint Chinese New Year and Burns night party. It’s called Chinese-Burns night. I didn’t really want to go but they twisted my arm.
It’s also my birthday. So I’m definitely having a Chinese Burns virtual party. Which looks a lot like me eating Chinese food and sinking an impressive amount of whisky.
