and do you have to wear a cap?
On hearing news that a man called Rob Armpit is on the public record, the following discussion happened 
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Brilliant!
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This is dual purpose. By using hot water, in four minutes you can produce two perfectly scrambled eggs. 
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For the man you has everything… apart from clean and stimulated bollocks? Interesting gift with a creative name… how much?
@pap for when you wiping goes wrong?
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Proper football
Yep grassroots (or in this case treeroots) football…love it. 
Back in the day played for The Coote Arms on Salisbury-Blandford road.
Pub closed team moved to a rich locals’ horse riding place. Pitch was actually almost flat.
Unfortunately after rain great big flint stones rose to the surface.
We told Salisbury & District League Div 7 they said its OK just put up a warning sign, tell Ref & oppo captain no slide tackles
One game oppo full back slid in & crunched me. Out cold.
Eventually I wake up magic sponge has worked, I scream. Covered in blood.
The water bucket is red.
It’s alright Phil, it’s his- oppo player screaming while Captn tries to hold his knee cap on his leg.
Ambulance came.
Game finished 30 mins wait. Went home. Mum screamed & fainted.
Ah lower leahues
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They may want to choose their font more carefully next time…
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