Good shout re the 70s barber shop, Folly. As I said, men want to be me, women want to be with me - and now you can see why. Deal with it, or I’ll do you!
I’m surprised that you came up with that barber’s shop reference; I wasn’t sure that they had barbers in the 70s in Wales? Isn’t it?
That reminds me of an anecdote from my childhood in Gosport in the 70s involving the barber shop that I used to entrust to secure personal hair en c uttments (all of them). The story has gone down in local folklore.
Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I’ll begin…
One of the barbers (a woman) was attending to a customer when she became aware that he was playing with himself under the protective gown that they wrap around your shoulders. Apparently she tried to ignore it at first or so the story goes, but as she started to make out what she took to be longer and longer strokes of the shaft, she hit him over the head with a hairdryer. There was blood everywhere and he had to go to hospital.
It turns out that the gentleman in question was cleaning his sunglasses under the gown. (not a euphemism)
It made the papers and the barber in question moved on. This was a great personal loss to me as she used to cut my hair from time to time. She reminded me of Jane from Rainbow, and I was aware of a strange tingle somewhere deep inside my body every time she touched my “head”.
To this day I don’t know what that tingle was, except that I’ve experienced it twice since - amazingly on both occasions it happened almost 9 months to the day before the birth of our two children.
I imagine that I must have been thinking that “Jane’s” hand at some point would have almost certainly touched Zippy and Bungle too, and that by extension all of us were now in some strange way ‘one’ in the universe. I can’t think what else it would have been.
Re Turkish posing for me?
You’re right, he agreed because I have a super-long glans - which fortunately is in proportion to the rest of the structure. Some people don’t suit being bald (hence my wig), but some, like Turkish do (Despite looking like the before picture from a Cadbury’s Smash advert). For mash get Smash.
OK, I’m out of 70s references now. Shame I couldn’t fit in a reference to The Tomorrow People, Love Thy Neighbour, Chip Club (books bought from the school) or Debbie Does Dallas.