😆 When I Saw This I Laughed Or At Least I Smiled Or At Least I Wasn't Bored

gavstar · 31 January 2018 14:35

Curvature of the Earth confirmed at last, NASA will be pleased.

PhilippineSaint · 1 February 2018 03:24

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.’

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of
breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, ‘Um, you have fifteen
minutes left, would you care to do it again?’

He asks her ‘Shall we?’

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s
change positions. This time, I 'll hold the
pigeon down and you shit on its head !!!

Polski_Filip · 1 February 2018 04:43

There is no truth in the rumour that this was a clip of Adam Blackmore leaving SMS last night after having his Saints commentary contract renewed for the rest of the season

BTripz · 1 February 2018 11:25

That’ll be Derby off of @barry-sanchez 's list then

PhilippineSaint · 1 February 2018 11:52

Commentater on a German game that is on in the background.

“the round thing has to go in the white square thing. Thats the only way you win games”

Can we get him to do a teaching course at St Mary’s

gavstar · 2 February 2018 16:49

Nottarf-Krap · 3 February 2018 10:47

CB-Saint · 3 February 2018 18:07

The Ayatollah takes a call today from the friends We are visiting for dinner tonight to check ingredients are OK

Apparently the chicken dish we are having has Cava and Cup-a-soup in it

Cup a soup??? WTF??

Cobham-Saint · 3 February 2018 18:12

Get and share the recipe - I’m intrigued

lifeintheslowlane · 3 February 2018 18:17

That will be “Bermondsey Bed-sit Chicken”…great stuff.

Saint-or-sinner · 3 February 2018 18:32

Hope you are taking your own wine, if cup a soup is an indication of their taste.

Map-Of-Tasmania · 3 February 2018 19:49

ouch

PhilippineSaint · 3 February 2018 20:55

CB-Saint · 4 February 2018 21:43

It was chicken Gloria. It was shit.

Cobham-Saint · 4 February 2018 22:02

Oh, ok @cb-saint

I’ll give it a swerve - thanks anyway …hope the evening wasn’t too painful

PhilippineSaint · 5 February 2018 03:44

Words that are hard to say when drunk

WORDS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

WORDS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

Specificity
Anti-constitutionalistically
Passive-aggressive disorder
Transubstantiate

WORDS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

No thanks, I’m married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
No thanks, I’m not hungry.
I’m not interested in fighting you.
Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real Fool!
Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.
No, you are too young and beautiful to sit on my face.
A blow job, no thanks I already have a job.

lifeintheslowlane · 5 February 2018 08:02

FFS

PhilippineSaint · 5 February 2018 08:34

lifeintheslowlane · 5 February 2018 08:45

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Fowllyd · 5 February 2018 09:33

I hadn’t realised that William Shatner was a friend of Bletch, but he’s clearly passed on his evening dress to him.