😆 When I Saw This I Laughed Or At Least I Smiled Or At Least I Wasn't Bored

Monkey Tennis
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I thought that too, especially after I saw this this morning

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THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT


My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally


I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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Kyle Walker supporting Independent Traders
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: :lou_sunglasses:

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BREAKING NEWS

THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE LIFTING RESTRICTIONS IN PARKS AND BEACHES DURING THE EASTER BREAK.

The Government has announced today that, for the Easter break, certain groups are allowed to go to parks and Beaches and invite friends round for BBQ’s.

IMPORTANT- PLEASE READ

While the majority of the population will remain in lockdown the following groups will be allowed to gather together at parks, beaches and visit each other’s houses.

Assholes
Shit heads
Imbeciles
Half wits
Morons
Troglodytes
Ignoramus’
selfish fuckwits
Simpletons
Illiterates
Stupid fuckers
Idiots
Dickheads
Twats

Anyone not in those groups must follow the guidelines set out by the Governments regarding social distancing.

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I see that the cunts are safe

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That means that you can go out then


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I’ve broken into and am posting from a Greggs.

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Great! Can you post me some cheesy/bacon turnovers and a couple of sausage rolls (not vegan ones) please?

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There’s none left. I’ve eaten the fucking lot.

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What happens if you’re on that list more than once - like 8 or 9 times?

(Asking for a friend)

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I would say that you’re probably on there 13 times (out of the 14) so not too bad


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Even the vegan ones?