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That’s an old Stan Boardman joke
Aye…mulleted twat he was
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The Germans bombed his chippy.
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How do you know Stan Boardman didn’t nick it from Bader? 
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Ouch
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Headline of the (yester)day
Anti-milk protestors throw paints at the Houses of Parliament
Anti Milk???
Fuck me,
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Milk is Murder 
Ah don’t, one of the vegans at work was having a right go at me about it the other day. About how cows are artificially inseminated and the calves ripped away from them so that they keep giving milk 
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You may not know this
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Mrs Map of Mauritania asked me last night to give her a Performance worthy of Liverpool in bed…
What do you mean? I asked
Spend ages on top, yet come second
Apparently the average man has sex 3-4 times a week, except Eskimos who are lucky if it 2 times a year. Now this came as a bit of a shock for me… never knew i was a fucking Eskimo (boom Boom)
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The NHS has lost the plot
The NHS is to launch a week-long “wellbeing festival” – just as ministers eye up the health service budget for cuts.
Health chiefs are promising sessions next week on “dynamic breath work”, “emotional freedom” – with one, intriguingly, named “What if we were salmon?”
However I did like this quote:
A government source said: "This kind of errant nonsense is more proof of an NHS gone completely tonto.
“Whilst ordinary Brits are worrying about what the winter will bring, NHS managers are wasting money on this rot.
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Basil Brush’s favourite joke…
Two suicide bombers walk into a pub.
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