It’s a tough sell being chief cheerleader, I am in danger of looking like
First real bit of fight I have seen
Now this is really taking the piss. The Slovakian goalie has just rolled a joint and is leaning against his nearside post. 
We are winning the mother of all games
We will crush them.
We couldn’t crush a grape
Kane will unleash a WMD shortly…you have been warned.
Medic!
Harry Kane just done a shot
Walker has been ropey tonight - how about playing Trent in his normal position
How far are you behind or is that your drug induced typing?
That’s not very positive, from our Head Cheerleader. 
Our left side is so slow pinderous and lacking in threat it has made me crave we had Ryan Manning on the Subs bench
Oh for god’s sake the goalie’s on his second spliff.
Ah, that explains it.
How did we not get that
Because Kane was not forward enough as per fucking normal
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Walker has a decent shot on goal
Luckily Pickford was there to deal with it
Gallagher ducked.
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I have lost my title as chief defender of the indefensible . The tater just said Maguire is a big loss for England
Not the worst half we have seen this tournament